Boda-bodas for the past 2 months have become my preferred mode of transportation. What drives this new found love? Could it be the wind blowing through my hair? Or inhaling bursts of black exhaust from the massive volume of non-inspected vehicles surrounding us on the road? Perhaps it is because it is not necessary to referee a backseat argument? Or maybe it is because it is a fraction of the cost compared to other travel? No matter the reason or many reasons combined…I enjoy traveling by boda.
(See below if you are not familiar with this form of transit!)
Encouragement
All I Do Is Win
Where are you friend?
Is a loved one sick? Is your marriage turbulent? Annoyed with your neighbors or in-laws or both? Are you ready for change but there are no opportunities in sight? Are you exhausted from trying to keep up with the Jones’? Are you longing for the past…wishing things were where they were before? Are you experiencing mommy myths saying you have to be super mom? Are your expectations too high or too low? Are you tired of waiting for prince charming to enter the scene? Is work boring, is your boss riding you, or are you working a dead end job? Are you tired of the same ole same ole? Are you exhausted from one bump in the road after another? Are you living in a foreign country with no clear plan or opportunity to go home? (No? Oh yeah–just me!)
Playing in Purgatory or Paradise?
A few nights ago we shared dinner with family friends who are in UG for a short time. They are familiar with the details of our story and just as I started to take my first bite of chapati, my friend turned to me and asked, “I am not fully sure what this means, but do you feel like are existing in purgatory?”
The Places We Go…
Dr. Suess speaks to me. All his alliteration and rhyming words settle deep in my soul.
5 Means to a More Meaningful Christmas
Can you feel it? The feeling of slight dread, sprinkled with heightened aggravation, and then topped off with a huge overwhelming sense of guilt? Somehow these feelings are gift wrapped with tinsel, bright beautiful red bows, covered in holly berries, pine needles, and an aroma of gingerbread and cinnamon.
Take Off the Cape Superwoman!
I do not know enough about the blogging world to know whether this blog is too honest or raw…I guess in my ignorance, I am just going to post it. I wrote this blog about 18 months ago–but wasn’t ready to share this message until I had stepped out of the chaos and had gained some perspective. I know that I run the risk of being judged by some or the possibility of disappointing others. I realized though, I am okay with all of that. I feel slightly vulnerable…and yet I think that is what real people do. They give you a piece of their real lives and their real hearts and their real struggles, their real selves. That is what makes them normal and human. This is longer than most typical blogs but it is a message that I hope might encourage just one woman who feels like she has to be “Superwoman.” If you are not comfortable with this type of honesty read no further.
Being REAL Thankful Even When You Don’t Feel Like It…
You know today was a bit tougher than I had anticipated. Chris is leaving to go be with my bro and sis in law and then on to see his dad for Thanksgiving. Though we have wonderful plans and at this moment I can hear the children singing a song they plan to perform tomorrow for their Thanksgiving play…it is still hard to be away from my hubby. I have cried a few tears today and cried out to God in understanding…but also disappointment.
We are Headed to the Hospital
Chris and I watched a few minutes of “What to Expect When You’re Expecting” last night. I laughed out loud at the “dude’s group.” The movie captures a lot of what I experienced while expecting. This time around I definitely appreciated the paranoia of the home study visit…I plan to watch the rest tonight but I will cry (as I did the last time) during the Ethiopian adoption ceremony.
Where is Ty Pennington When I Need Him?
There once was a house that resembled my life. On the outside it was big and beautiful. The house had a fantastic floor plan, spacious bedrooms and a big back yard for the kids to run and play. The house to most would be a wonderful place to live and raise a family. What was not visible from the outside was that there were areas where the paint was beginning to chip. If one ventured inside she would catch a glimpse of the carpet stains and recognize the downstairs heat had not worked in two winters. The house over the past 17 years had experienced the normal wear and tear and the owners had not done an awesome job of maintenance. One day the owners noticed that it was not simply the carpets that needed to be cleaned, the yard could use some attention, the basketball goal was shattered, and the dryer was truly on the fritz. On that day the owners became overwhelmed by the circumstances and problems because slow and simple maintenance had been ignored and now there was much work to be done. Now every complication became a tyranny of the urgent…what needed to be fixed the fastest and what could be ignored? Where is Ty Pennington when I need him?
The dryer has squeaked for 6 months on and off but now the noise is so deafening that when laundry is placed in the dryer and one stands near it for a few seconds it will cause your ears to ring. A few weeks ago I drove out of my garage and could hear the dryer noise (with windows up) from the car. For those of you who are meticulous about home maintenance please refrain from judgement…please do not throw stones at this glass house. Tonight in a fit of defeat, prayer and pure sadness I sensed I should go and place my hands on the dryer. Knowing that she was doing her best to function but she was also so very broken; I stood in the laundry room hands on the dryer until they grew hot…feel free to judge here…I was judging myself!
But in that ever so loud and deafening moment I heard a still small voice: “this is how loud and chaotic life is when it is not well maintained with me. I can bring calm in the presence of the noise if one slows down long enough to listen…but do you see why it is difficult to hear My voice?”
A holy moment in the laundry room led me to a sweet revelation: I cannot intimately hear from a God that I am constantly tuning out with the busyness of this life. There are millions of distractions that keep me fixing and fluttering from thing to thing–all the while the deafening dryer is screaming in my ears and God’s voice is drowned out.
Every day there is something fresh and new from Him…His voice. Where is the wonder in that? Have I been shuffling myself and family from thing to thing for so long that I am not stopping to slow down…to fix the MOST broken thing? Our hearts were designed for more than the lawn, baseball games, Wii, iPhones, facebook, tennis lessons, soccer, college football, ballet performances, trips to the gym, carpool, a 9-5 job that we love, or even service at church.
The deafening dryer that I was cursing moments before now reminded me that my heart (like my home) must be maintained. I must cultivate time to rejuvenate, to make space livable for my God. If I am distracted there is little room for Him to make my heart His home.
May You Be a Blessing and May You Be Blessed.
Jenni
What IS Beautiful?
Re-Post…as a reminder to LOVE the SKIN You are IN!
What IS Beautiful?
The word itself evokes so many images, so many definitions…and sadly, SO much distortion. Women have such a skewed perspective on the subject and it is worth settling in and really getting to the HEART of the matter. So grab a cup of coffee, take a deep breath and “sip” on this…
When a baby girl is born her mother looks at that precious child and sees beauty. Crushed nose, bug eyes, stork bites, red face, and wrinkled fingers do not alter the beauty that her mother finds. Her father sheds tears at the sight before him. This little girl is BEAUTIFUL. She grows up to the tender age of 5 or 6 and her little snaggled toothed self with freckles and a cowlick continue to scream BEAUTY to all those around her.
So what HAPPENS? When does the shift occur? The deception of this world slowly creeps in. The outside voices begin to penetrate the TRUTH that has held her together for those first few tender years of life.
The outside voices say—
“What are those ugly dots on your face?”
“Your legs are too long, too short, too big, too small.”
“Your cheeks are FAT!”
“Your cheeks are FAT!”
“Your hair is too frizzy, too flat, too poofy, too short.”
“Your teeth are not straight.”
“Your glasses make you look like you have 4 eyes.”
“Your nose, lips, forehead or chin are too big, small, or long.”
Some of the voices are NOT audible, they are merely suggested. They are magazines and television shows with images of gaunt (not to mention air brushed) women wearing elegant colorful dresses, with fun, flirty shoes and dating “hot” boys. Each picture sends the message: “You are NOT enough…you are NOT beautiful…in fact, you are ugly.”
The voices that had so loudly spoken to us before that made us secure, not question, and even comfortable in our own skin, are drowned out by the world’s messages around us. (Sadly even those that we loved and trusted can become the voice that breaks our spirit and causes us to believe that we have somehow lost our beauty.) The deceivers, in the many forms they take, then lead so many precious pre-teens and teens in to a downward spiral of body image issues, self-loathing, and a general sense of DISCONTENT. It is a slow progression that takes place over long periods of time…but unfortunately, those same voices can linger in to our 20s, 30s, 40s, and 50s…some of us will actually live out all of our days shaped, molded and haunted by those voices. The messages sent may change, but our question remains the same: Do you think I am beautiful? We live confused about what beauty truly is—and it steals the joy from our daily lives.
We look to the mirror or a scale to measure our self worth. We look to those around us to tell us we are beautiful. Through outward actions and inward thoughts we ask over and over again, “Do you think I am beautiful?” We listen to voices that were NEVER intended to speak truth over our lives. So where does it end? Where does a new definition of beauty begin?
It starts with a fresh voice, new vision, a friend sharing a cup of coffee and saying: “Honestly girl, you are BEAUTIFUL! You are not just beautiful, but you are SMOKIN’ HOT!”
As a personal trainer I want to start by saying beauty is SO much deeper and so much more than a six pack. Beauty is so much more than being thin or even dare I say healthy and fit. I have met plenty of trainers that might externally have the perfect physique but they are missing an inner peace and an inner beauty. Beauty is more than big boobs, a rockin’ hair cut, and a great pair of pink pumps. Society and this culture have REALLY done a number on women. External beauty has become our obsession and it is not only a complete fallacy, it is a lot like chasing a shadow of what society determines is “beautiful” at that moment in time. Janine and I are both constantly striving to realign women with the truth on this matter.
Beautiful is a timely word of encouragement. Beautiful is a thoughtful note or email to a hurting friend. Beautiful is seeing those around you as more important than yourself. Beautiful is a song sung from the heart…on or off key! Beautiful is a long belly laugh. Beautiful is a vulnerable cry after hearing sad news. Beautiful is confidence and security. Beautiful is the ability to lavish others with words of affirmation—knowing that you yourself may not have those same attributes. Beautiful is the opposite of obsession…it is contentment.
What does a beautiful body look like? A beautiful body is found in a woman who is comfortable in her own skin. A beautiful body is much more thankful for the way her body moves than how much she weighs. A beautiful body is wrapped around a 70-year-old women wrinkled with time wrestling on the floor or running around the park with her grandchildren! A beautiful body is covering a tired and sweaty 41-year-old woman who just finished her first 5k. A beautiful body is one that adorns a bikini for the first summer in a long time only to share her curves and her stretch marks knowing that they gave her 3 beautiful children. A beautiful body is one that has been worked hard and her muscles reflect her effort and discipline.
I am reminded of an old folktale that I heard many years ago. It is a story of an antique shop that carried all kinds of ornamental glass, and wooden treasures. There was China and crystal and Venetician glass, all items that held great value intertwined with just old junk that families dropped off unable to part with or throw away. One night a mischievous thief broke in to the store. Instead of stealing anything, he just exchanged the tags on the merchandise inside. The items that were most expensive he replaced with a tag of the least expensive item. Once all the tags were switched he left. The next day as customers came and went they purchased the China paying pennies for it, not realizing the gem that was in their hand. Other customers paid high dollar believing that they were receiving an antique treasure when in fact they were paying for an overpriced piece of JUNK!
The same is true for the world in which we live today. In this world the BEAUTY tags have been SWITCHED! We have foolishly bought in to our culture’s overpricing of external beauty, a beauty that fades, a beauty that is never fully satisfied or attained. We have walked down the isles and have been duped in to believing that the right make-up, jewelry, clothes, highlights, or “look” would set us a part and send a message to the world that we are beautiful. We have even chosen more toxic routes like eating too little or exercising too much or have altered our hair, skin, or body in hopes to feel more beautiful and please others. In doing this we bypassed the gem sitting on the shelf marked “unconditional love”…”generosity”…”kindness”…”contentment” and went straight for the big ticket items believing that they would not only bring us happiness but they were more valuable. We have ALL done this in some form along the way…I know I have! My encouragement is to take a long look in the mirror before we make our next purchase. Try it on…does it ooze of the deception of this world—or does it shine with an ever-lasting quality? Be certain that the investment that you are making is one that will last!
Why as women do we look at one another’s weaknesses and flaws instead of pointing out our strengths and gifts? Truly beautiful women do this…but they are rare. I also hope to tackle the messages we are sending our children and those around us by having our own distorted sense of beauty. How can we change this? I will end with this loving reminder…YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL! You are not just beautiful but you are SMOKIN’ HOT!
May You Be a Blessing and May You Be Blessed,
Jenni
100 Cups of Coffee 