My first 3 babies came early.
Joshua was almost 3 weeks early. Glory.
I was never very good at waiting while pregnant. Okay that is a bit of an understatement. When we entered the last few weeks of pregnancy I ate pineapple, copious amounts of Mexican food, took long walks several times a day, jumped rope–yep–you read that right, drank gallons of raspberry tea, and employed a husband’s preferred method to bring about labor. Pretty much if Google suggested it–I tried it…sans the caster oil…drinking black tar was going a bit too far even for me!
In retrospect I wonder–what was I really trying to do? I was living in a VERY uncomfortable place, and therefore I did everything in my “power” to move the process along. Although it may have appeared that I was making things happen, I look back on my attempts to control destiny and chuckle. Most everyone including any legit medical website told me my attempts were not medically proven or of much value…but God knows I tried.
Two more babies (or little/big kids) are headed our way. This time we have experienced some false labor…a court date shifted. So in the adoption world, as of Tuesday, one might say we are “overdue.” This is uncharted waters for me. I do not do–“overdue.” This time no amount of pineapple, raspberry tea, or Mexican can bring our babies to us any faster. This time our proverbial Braxton Hix mean just what they do for all folks: more waiting.
Kylee came REALLY quick. (Like 4-5 hours of labor quick.) So with Caleb, for fear I would go in to labor on the side of the road, I panicked and made an early trip to the hospital only to be told to go home–I wasn’t ready. I could not help but draw the pregnancy parallels: packed bags, gearing up for the “hospital”–aka an international trip to UG–only to be told…things are not ready.
Our adoption trimester of waiting has been sweeter than my pregnancy trimesters. I am realizing after 3 children, I am simply NOT in control of the details or our future. The adoption 3rd trimester came quickly. Even though it might appear that we are “overdue” we are still frantically preparing our hearts and home for our little ones. No one can fully be equipped for another child(ren)–but in our home there is much to prayerfully mentally and emotionally prepare for–there is always more work that can be done.
This season has also reminded me that no matter how uncomfortable life is–we are not in control. We cannot begin to tell ourselves the exact day that we will go in to labor–and we cannot predict our official court date or when we will be home with our children. We cannot immediately change our uncomfortable circumstances. An illness of a loved one, debt, a difficult neighbor, co-worker or supervisor all can leave us feeling less than comfortable. Doing our best to find or take control can consume us. The lesson we have been learning this trimester of holding loosely to our own agenda and letting a greater Source lead has been wonderfully humbling.
Wow, so Jenni, you are cool, you mean you are fine in this waiting mode?? (Well, lets not get crazy!) How “cool” is an overdue pregnant woman in the middle of a hot July summer? This mom has seen pictures and dreams at night of the faces of her little ones. She longs to wrap her arms around them…she longs to see their smiles. She senses intuitively that they are waiting too.
Unlike the babies in our past–there is less option for control. (I guess there just kinda has to be more trust…but I am grateful.) Grateful for a loving Father who loves these two little ones more than I could begin to love my children. And I believe He loves me–loves our family. He holds the circumstances in the palm of His hand. In the midst of my discomfort He brings great peace and joy.
Labor is tough. We have a long road ahead. Pregnant women need to be reminded of this in their 3rd trimester. Extending our preparation time is something I want to savor not dread.
May You Be a Blessing and May You Be Blessed,