So I see this as a blessing and a curse. And it is probably a combination of nature and nurture generating my hypersensitivity to the feelings of others. Sometimes I am paralyzed as I don’t want to say something to offend…or do something that might hurt your heart. (I am not perfect at this and am sure I have hurt many–but I can assure you it was not intentional as I have spent the better part of (almost) 40 years doing my best to be very very very sensitive to the hearts of others…especially surrounding delicate topics like this one!) So on a day like today as much as I would like to post a picture of my babies (and there is NOTHING wrong with doing this)…or a picture of my mom (and this is also to be celebrated)…I pause. Because this day can be hard.
This day can be hard for those who have lost a child recently…like the mother I heard about who lost her baby at 19 weeks…this weekend. Or maybe the loss of your child was 15 years ago–but Mother’s Day brings about a sweetness as well as a sting. There are other women with big beautiful mother’s hearts who are painfully watching their friends on facebook but have not birthed a child of their own…a longing that aches the other 364 days of the year–but today her pain is highlighted. I see you sweet pea. I see you.
Another shift of our awareness on this day accompanies a loss of a mother. My mother in law was a beautiful gift to me and someone I miss regularly…especially when I see the wonder in my children’s eyes and know she would have enjoyed teaching them something new. I see my husband continue to grow in to an amazing man and father and I know his mom would have loved to watch this unfold. The loss of a mother whether recent or distant makes this day difficult. An especially painful loss on this day happens to those who who have lost their mothers long ago even though she is still living. You know who you are if this is you, and you endure an especially private pain. You would never speak ill of your mother who is unable to be the mom you had hoped she would/could be. There is likely grace–loads of it–surrounding your relationship…but there is sadness and grief not joy on this day. Daughter…I am so sorry…I see you.
For those whose mom is sick, or absent, or is a woman you never knew. Or for those who are sharing the responsibility of motherhood, maybe you are a stepmom, or a foster mom…I see you. Single mom friends…I see you.
So today on a day full of beautiful pictures and celebrations–of course I celebrate with so many of you! But I want to take a moment and honor those of my friends who are feeling the sting of this day and I want to say your heart is being held. I will hold it in case you thought no one noticed…you are not forgotten. You are allowed to feel a bit hollow even if your house is full.
There is a Love greater than mine that says I see you. I think certainly it is nurture…but stronger is Nature…screaming down from heaven reminding me of the hearts that matter to Him. Remember today on this painfully beautiful day He is especially fond of you.
If you have a precious woman in your life that you SEE and might be encouraged by these words…please pass them on–or send a few words of your own her way!
May You Be a Blessing and May You Be Blessed!