Oceans Between Us…


Oceans Between Us – Jenni Cockerham *

Almost exactly 2 years ago to the day I penned these words*. It is a mini memoir that was written mostly for me. But it was written with others in mind…those who have had hard histories…who were struggling or disillusioned with life…or God. I think I have spent the past few years spiritually disoriented…after having spent the past few decades so very clear.

I had not picked up this “book” in 2 years–I had forgotten it held some real treasures of truth. In it–I tip my hat to my French teacher, my young life high school friends, my Indiana roots, and to another woman who wrote the introduction…recognizing we (and our stories) are all part of a grand moziac. If this post nudges or stirs you to read it…(or more importantly) share with someone who needs it…then please pass it along. I am so very convinced it did my soul good to put the words on paper–but I am still very much finding they ring true for my life today. I have learned that disillusionment leads to transformation. I am looking forward to walking through the next few decades seeing life through a different lens. Transformation is not to be feared but embraced. Therefore we should not shy away from the disillusionment, the feelings, pain or disappointment…we should welcome them and walk with them. If we don’t, we will find other ways to eat, (or not eat), drink, drug or shop them away–but this leaves us fat, (or too thin), drunk, high, and highly accessorized–keeping up with the Jone’s–yes–but still as stuck as we started. Here’s to where you are from where I am and where I’ve been. With all my love to all of you on this Transformation Tuesday.

May You Be a Blessing and May You Be Blessed,



One thought on “Oceans Between Us…

  1. Jenni, I followed your journey to adopt. And the heart-wrenching pain of NOT bringing those babies…your babies…..home. Can I ask you a question? How do you heal a broken heart? How do you move forward when God has ended relationships that you thought you would carry or have with you in this lifetime? How do you ease the ache? How do you wrestle with harsh truths? And face (day after day after day) the painful reality that on this side of eternity….those children will not be under your roof? How do you keep inclining your heart to God? How do you learn to trust again? How do you let go of pain and embrace life? How do you not want revenge or vindication in your human flesh? How, in all honesty, has God worked your situation of losing your children for GOOD? Does time ease the ache? Do you still have moments where you just want to thrash and lash out? I am in the season of heavy burdened loss. And I am lost in the pain.


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