Pain and Suffering

Mutts, Mosaics, and Modes of Transportation

~ Jenni at 100 Cups of Coffee ~ 1 Comment

I was first introduced to mosaics in Italy and was struck with wonder by their intricate beauty and design.   To see the tiny fragments of different colors, shapes and sizes all come together in one masterful piece of art was breath-taking.  To be inspired by something that originally was made from busted, broken pieces of glass or stone takes quite a creative designer.

Some people are far more spiritual than I am…they do things like pray for world peace and cures for diseases.   At times my prayers feel a bit more shallow…I pray for stuff like the weather and how it will affect my schedule for the day.  I pray for my children not fall out of trees and break something.  I even pray, ahem–please don’t judge–for things like what type of dog we will own.

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The Epic Adventure is Over

~ Jenni at 100 Cups of Coffee ~ 2 Comments

I am tired of telling sad stories.  Though at times therapeutic, telling your story makes it real, concrete, and final.    

Recently, Grief has knocked heavily upon my door.  She has been a constant visitor and one I have shrugged off for almost a year.  Strength has been my best friend.  She has cheered me and journeyed with me each step of this Epic Adventure.  Grief was not welcomed or wanted.   Nor did I have any time to entertain her.  There were children to bathe, clothes and dishes to wash (by hand mind you)–and there were stories to be read and boo boos to kiss.  I kept Grief at bay.  Even at the “end” of our journey with our Ugandan kiddos…(if you missed that chapter you can learn more about it here)…Grief was not invited to the party because Hope had made her way to the forefront of the story line.  Hope was carrying a banner waving, “Justice.”  Her message comforted me.  But a few weeks ago Heartbreak and Sorrow delivered a message of gut-wrenching proportion.  They said that the two little ones we thought we protected and placed into good hands were actually taken back by Evil hands…ones not to be trusted.  Trafficking hands that were protected by the police and bribery and social status.  Reunification failed.  Corruption, culture, and paternal biological “rights” all took precedence over the lives of precious little ones I love.

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Four Letter Words for the Suffering…

~ Jenni at 100 Cups of Coffee ~ 2 Comments

100 Cups has been a bit on the heavy side lately.   Some might be thinking, “get over it already…figure it out…this is depressing…give me some good news or something happy to read.”  Others have navigated these deep waters, get it, and know this is a healing, therapeutic platform.  The subject (however unhappy) effects us all at one point or another.   No one is immune to suffering; and therefore I find it crucial to share.  

This blog is all-inclusive.  For those who are currently walking through hard things…this is for you.  For those who have loved ones enduring hardship…this is for you.  For those who have walked alongside our family–this is a sincere thank you for loving us so well with just the right words and actions!   Continue reading →

Making Sense of Something that DOESN’T…

~ Jenni at 100 Cups of Coffee ~ Leave a comment
To describe many of the days last week in words is to describe an unpleasant picture.  Chris Cockerham (aka Mr. Positive) would say,  “Jenni has not been at her best.”  I was discouraged…unsure how to begin to take in all of the new information concerning “our” Ugandan kiddos–and their current/future status.  Trying–but failing to make sense of it all.  How does one make sense of something that simply doesn’t?   
 
This side of heaven…human pain and suffering may never fully make sense.   

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Str-UGH-a-ling

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When an author writes a book she typically has a story to tell, but also has already journeyed down a certain path, turned the proverbial corner, and she is writing her story in the past tense.  The author then is able to insert insight, humorous antidotes, and wisdom gleaned from her bumps and bruises.  The book, if well-written, is polished, clean, and read-able.  It gives the page-turner a distinct joy having been a part of a shared experience.

Blogs are messy.  The author does not have the luxury of knowing the “end” of the story.  He or she typically writes as the story as it is unraveling…and as in life…there is no guarantee the story will end well.   The author does not have weeks, months, or years to reflect on the story.   Uniquely blogs are happening in real time and so the reader is actually given the opportunity to process along with the writer…forming his or her own conclusions.  Celebrating and grieving with the author.   

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Re-Rooted…

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Growing up my parents had a garden.  The black Indiana soil was more than accommodating for a beginning gardener.  As an adult I desired to do more of the same, but found that the North Carolina red clay was not as inviting.  Being a lover of all things fruit and veg I found this a bit disheartening.  Nevertheless, several summers ago, a few herbs as well as tomatoes and peppers found their way in to potting soil and away we went.

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Living Out Loud

~ Jenni at 100 Cups of Coffee ~ 1 Comment

Sometimes when you live out loud a.k.a. share your world via facebook…real life hits hard and you wonder what there is to say?  You feel the need to say more or less or “like” what others have to say about your story.  Sometimes we need to simply heal and that includes more quiet and less input or output.  But over the past few days I realized that in doses social media is a good place to celebrate the life we live.  Just read this quote and it makes loads of sense to me:

“Here’s the truth about telling stories with your life. It’s going to sound like a great idea, and you’re going to get excited about it, and then when it comes time to do the work, you’re not going to want to do it. It’s like that with writing books, and it’s like that with life. People love to have lived a great story, but few people like the work it takes to make it happen. But joy costs pain.” – Donald Miller, A Million Miles in a Thousand New Years Day

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All I Do Is Win

~ Jenni at 100 Cups of Coffee ~ 2 Comments

Where are you friend?  

Is a loved one sick?  Is your marriage turbulent?  Annoyed with your neighbors or in-laws or both?  Are you ready for change but there are no opportunities in sight?  Are you exhausted from trying to keep up with the Jones’?  Are you longing for the past…wishing things were where they were before?  Are you experiencing mommy myths saying you have to be super mom?  Are your expectations too high or too low?  Are you tired of waiting for prince charming to enter the scene?  Is work boring, is your boss riding you, or are you working a dead end job?  Are you tired of the same ole same ole?  Are you exhausted from one bump in the road after another?  Are you living in a foreign country with no clear plan or opportunity to go home?  (No?  Oh yeah–just me!)  

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Leaving the Funk Behind…

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Survival Mode best describes many of the days I have lived in Uganda.  

Some days our family enjoyed nutritious meals, followed by solid homeschool academics, coupled with patient parenting, sprinkled with kind, encouraging words, and we finished with long night time prayers prayed, songs sung and backs scratched.

Other days were filled with junk food, followed by no school, coupled with quick tempered, harsh parenting, sprinkled with irritable and snippy responses, and we finished with a super fast Hail Mary tossed in with the quickest night time song I could think to sing, and no backs were scratched. 

Yep.  Not proud of it…just honest.

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Take Off the Cape Superwoman!

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I do not know enough about the blogging world to know whether this blog is too honest or raw…I guess in my ignorance, I am just going to post it.  I wrote this blog about 18 months ago–but wasn’t ready to share this message until I had stepped out of the chaos and had gained some perspective.  I know that I run the risk of being judged by some or the possibility of disappointing others.  I realized though, I am okay with all of that.  I feel slightly vulnerable…and yet I think that is what real people do.   They give you a piece of their real lives and their real hearts and their real struggles, their real selves.  That is what makes them normal and human.  This is longer than most typical blogs but it is a message that I hope might encourage just one woman who feels like she has to be “Superwoman.”   If you are not comfortable with this type of honesty read no further.  

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