Uncovering My Dr. Pepper Lip Smackers Addiction…

~ Jenni at 100 Cups of Coffee ~ Leave a comment
I know what you are thinking…
“NICE,  Janine and Jenni!  You work in a sweaty gym all day…from your home no less!  Neither of you wear that much make up regularly.   Convenient for you to choose a subject that you are comfortable with, and then design a weekly challenge requesting the rest of us to ‘feel beautiful’ or ‘uncover the real me’!” 
It is confession time.  This week is NOT an easy week for me, because of these 5 little words…
“Go put on some lipstick!” 
Those 5 little words (heard all throughout my adolescence) started a “lip stuff” addiction in my life.  For the past 2 decades I went through a Dr. Pepper lip smackers “phase”.  It was in every pocket, purse and bag that I owned.  The genius thing about Dr. Pepper Lip Smackers is that it was cheap and also had a hint of color so when wearing it I would avoid hearing those 5 little words! 
Those 5 words were often followed by, “your lips look transparent,” “you look like a ghost”.  No matter what the words were, the message was clear:  without some sort of color on my mouth…I was not attractive.   Lesson learned.  Hundreds and hundreds of dollars later investing in tiny little tubes of great smelling chap stick…I never left home without it. 
I shifted in my mid-20s to a more “sophisticated” addiction.  I discovered a grand little green tube of gloss from Bath and Body Works.  Mentha Lip Tint that has a nice warm plum color, a fabulous sheen and even a little peppermint oil.  So now my lips are always “luscious” and I have a hint of fresh breath.  I feel VERY beautiful when I wear it.  (Or certainly not naked.)  
This week is a great challenge for me.  It is asking me (a girl who wears little to no make up) to put down the tube and dig a little deeper as to why I think I “NEED” to wear my “lip stuff”.   The answer was deeper than I had imagined.  I personally did not start wearing make up because it made me feel beautiful.  I wore make up to avoid feeling ugly. 
After this week you may still occasionally see me with a fabulously luscious set of lips.  I do not think make up is innately bad or evil.  I do think it is a great idea to question the status quo.  It is a great idea to question our motives or the things we have done forever…”just because”.  It is always a good idea to figure out why we MUST have or do something.  
Apparently Janine and I are not the only ones with this idea.  After we had drawn up our challenge for the month, we found this duo.  We would highly recommend checking out their journey and find out why they have started the “Naked Face Project”.  Their mission statement shares and we concur: 

“We’ve only approached feminine beauty in one way for our entire lives.  What might reveal itself when we give ourselves the opportunities to experience another way?”   
      
http://www.thenakedfaceproject.com/
May this week not fill you with dread but with a new opportunity to question the status quo.  Or  more importantly, may you land on the other side of the next 7 days discovering a deeper, more complete sense of your own beauty.  

I will share with you the words I hope my daughter hears over and over until I have no more breath to speak them, “You are beautiful… just the way you are.”  (Quietly under my breath, I might add, “with or without the lip stuff”!)
May you be a blessing and may you be blessed!
Jenni 

Who Says? What is Beautiful? Video!

~ Jenni at 100 Cups of Coffee ~ 2 Comments

In hopes to inspire the women of POWER and women across the nation who are not in the area, we have created a video.  A visual with the questions that Janine and I ask oursevles all the time…

WHO SAYS?   WHAT IS BEAUTIFUL?

http://video.google.com/googleplayer.swf?videoUrl=http%3A%2F%2Fv22.nonxt6.googlevideo.com%2Fvideoplayback%3Fid%3D3502055e5ef83e73%26itag%3D18%26source%3Dpicasa%26ip%3D0.0.0.0%26ipbits%3D0%26expire%3D1328224052%26sparams%3Did%2Citag%2Csource%2Cip%2Cipbits%2Cexpire%26signature%3DCF3C78C36D0A1F545BA37F1E4BCE9070DFF9459C.3C537677CCDCB0CD458D480ED1FF3CBB21FA601E%26key%3Dlh1

Thrilled to share this video and hope that it will spur conversations in your office, among your girlfriends, and even in your homes.

Just showed it to my 7 year old and asked her…”what IS beautiful?”   Her response was astounding…she teared up seeing the women with the lip plates and neck rings.  She said, “what was wrong with their bodies before?  Why did they feel they had to do that?”   I explained that the same women who were the fancy dresses, wearing lots of make up, or were simply “too thin” were trying to alter their body to achieve the standard of beauty in our culture.   Wide eyed she said, “mom, I think true beauty MUST come from the inside then!”   Well said.  Once again, from the mouth of babes.

VIDEO

Thanks sweet Christopher for sharing your skills and time to make this happen.  Your daughter will thank you someday too!

May you be a blessing and may you be blessed!

Jenni

Body Beautiful

~ Jenni at 100 Cups of Coffee ~ Leave a comment

POWER Studios are focussed this month on LOVE… 


LOVING THE SKIN YOU’RE IN. 


I realized this month was too good to keep to ourselves and to the confines of our studio walls…

You’re invited to embark on a journey over the next few weeks.  This month in POWER is Body Beautiful:  Love the Skin You’re In!  The theme is “standards and sisterhood”.   Standards of both beauty and health – who sets them?  What are yours?  Do you even have them or have you just been doing “whatever everybody else is”.  Sisterhood – working together to create the change we want to see in ourselves.  Rather than sitting around comparing each other, which usually results in feeling insecure, this is then projected as jealousy, envy, anger or disgust.  Why not build each other up?  Let’s quit comparing and instead reach out and support one another.  This first week in POWER we’d like you to reflect on what beautiful and healthy mean to you. Please answer the questions below. There will be poster boards in POWER for you to hang your definitions up. You may remain anonymous. Or you can email them to us. If you live far away, you can either email them to us at janinepower4me@gmail.com or jennipower4me@gmail.com or if you’re confident enough post them on our facebook page.   You can follow this message and movement as well as join our challenge.  More information will be posted on this blog, as well as http://www.power4me.com, and our p.o.w.e.r. llc facebook page.  

This month is a very important one. A month of reflection, education, inspiration and ultimately love. So we humbly ask of you to please take a few moments throughout this week to reflect on the questions below and tell us your thoughts. 

With much LOVE,
Janine and Jenni



·      Write your definition of beautiful. Think about your definition. What standards is your definition based on?

o      Are these standards the same ones you want your daughter/s or the next generation of girls to use.
o       Who/what has influenced your definition or standards?
o      Has your definition of beautiful changed over the years?
o      What does beautiful look like to someone who was born blind? Lives in a different culture? What if you were on a deserted island? Would you still conform to the same standards? The same “daily beauty routine”?



·      What does it mean to be “healthy”?

o       What parameters have you set that determine whether or not you’re healthy?
o       Have you achieved them? Are you healthy?
o       Would you consider your family healthy?
o      Does size/weight determine health? What about BMI?
o      Do you have an objective means to measure health?



Feel free to post your answers (or parts of them) to these questions in my comments section on my blog.   I value your honest answers to tough questions, I know other women will be inspired by your honesty and vulnerability.  

So much more to come…stay tuned and stay beautiful! 

May you be a blessing and may you be blessed!

Jenni 

A Simple "Seuss-ggestion"

~ Jenni at 100 Cups of Coffee ~ 3 Comments
       “I will not eat them here or there
I will not eat them anywhere!” 
This was Chris Cockerham’s motto about vegetables just 3-4 years ago…but not anymore.  Vegetables are not my God, but I do love them, and I believe that as Americans, we are a vegetable deficient nation.    The more produce and less processed that our family has become, the more incredible, share-worthy recipes we find.  So, while we are in the middle of our E2 challenge, it seemed timely to share a few! 
For us, our nutritional shifts have come gradually and very often by simple challenges made by ourselves or friends.  One of our favorites was the challenge to go without meat one day a week.
So, I thought by posting this on a Friday it would give you an opportunity to get to the store and buy a few items if you felt like getting crazy, checking out one of the recipes and trying a “Meatless Monday”!  
“You have probably heard about the movement called ‘Meatless Monday‘ which is an effort to educate people on the health and environmental benefits of abstaining from consuming meat one day a week. 
Intentionally removing some of the meat from our diets continues to be proven to be better for your body. 
·      Americans eat far more than they need to get their daily-recommended dose of protein.  Eating too much meat can contribute to heart disease and obesity, and a 2009 National Cancer Institute study cited by the EWG that found people who ate the most red meat were 20% more likely to die of cancer and 27% more likely to die of heart disease than those who ate the least·           
·     People who eat mainly plant-based foods generally eat fewer
     calories and less fat, weigh less, and have a lower risk of heart
     disease.


     ·      Just eating less meat has a protective effect. A National Cancer Institute study of 500,000 people found that those who ate 4 ounces (113 grams) of red meat or more daily were 30 percent more likely to have died of any cause during a 10-year period than were those who consumed less. Sausage, luncheon meats and other processed meats also increased the risk. Those who ate mostly poultry or fish had a  lower risk of death.  (Stats from the Mayo-Clinic website)


In addition to the health benefits, decreasing our meat intake has significant impact on our environment.  According to a 2006 report by the United Nations Food and Agriculture Organization (FAO), our diets and, specifically, the meat in them cause more greenhouse gases (carbon dioxide, methane, nitrous oxide) to spew into the atmosphere than either transportation or industry. Livestock farming accounting for 18% of greenhouse emissions vs all the world’s cars, trains, planes and boats combined to account for 13% – so it’s better for me to drive my car than to eat meat!
·      If you eat one less burger a week, it’s like taking your car off the road for 320 miles or line-drying your clothes half the time.
·      If everyone in the U.S. ate no meat or cheese just one day a week, it would be like not driving 91 billion miles – or taking 7.6 million cars off the road.
·      Following a plant-based diet just one day a week cuts more greenhouse gas emissions than buying all locally grown food, according to Carnegie Mellon University        
excerpts from http://marycrimmins.com/meatless-monday/

So my challenge for you: give plants a try.

Thinking there is no way you could go meatless for one day?   Maybe you are in Sam’s camp, convinced that you should not, would not, and could not eat green things…
  
Let me remind you of the Dr.’s brilliant “Seuss-ggestion:”
 “You do not like them so you say, try them try them and you may!          
                Try them and you may I say!” 


Hoping your experience with the green is as joyful as Sam’s.
Here are just a few recipes.
Happy to share more next Friday if folks find these helpful or interesting.   
Meatless Mornings:
 CROCK POT Oatmeal!  (talk about fast and easy!)
1 cup steel cut oats
5 cups water
Night Before:  Add oats and water to slow cooker.  Add more water if you will cook longer than 8 hours or if your cooker runs hot. 
In Morning:  Stir oatmeal.  Serve w/ fresh fruit, dried berries, or nuts.
Source:  The Vegan Slow Cooker
Double Green Smoothie  (I tell Kylee it is the Green Goddess smoothie)
1 ½ c unsweetened non-dairy beverage (almond, coconut, rice or soy)
2 dried apricots or 4 pitted dates
1 banana
1 c chopped kale leaves
1 c chopped spinach leaves
½ c fresh or frozen berries
Combine all ingredients until smooth
Source:  www.wholefoodsmarket.com/recipes
This is an invaluable resource and can search from their database for hundreds of healthy options and dietary needs, whether gluten free, vegetarian, vegan, etc.   CHECK OUT THIS SITE!
Meatless Mid-Day:
A salad or soup sans meat and you are set. 
My favorite salsa can also be eaten with a few chips, on a salad or placed in a wrap. 
Black Bean and Corn Salsa
3-4 limes( 8 to 10 tbsp fresh lime juice)
2 tbsp red wine vinager
1 tsp salt
1/2 tsp pepper
2 cans black beans, rinsed and drained
1 can corn, rinsed and drained
2 large tomatoes, finely diced
1/8 to 1/4 cup of finely minced red onion
1 to 2 avocados chopped
1/8 cup finely chopped/ minced cilantro
1-2 cloves of garlic (optional)
Mix all together and serve.  It tastes a little better if it has chilled for an hour to absorb the flavors.  I serve this as salsa, as a wrap, or even on my eggs in the morning. 
Source:  Becca Weibe
Meatless Dinner Menu:
BLACK BEAN CAKES
6 ½ cups black beans
½ cup salsa
½ cup diced red onion
1 ¼ red bell peppers, diced
¼ cup chopped fresh cilantro
2 cups bread crumbs
1 tablespoon diced jalapeño peppers (optional)
½ teaspoon Tabasco sauce
1 teaspoon Tabasco jalapeño sauce (optional)
2 cups crushed tortilla chips  (your preference)
1 teaspoon cumin
1 teaspoon coriander
2 tablespoons olive oil
Rinse black beans in cold water. Place in a colander and drain well (at least 10 minutes). Add all ingredients except tortilla chips, cumin, coriander, and olive oil to a mixing bowl. Blend well with hands, mashing some of the beans to form a thick mixture. Form into 3-ounce patties and set aside. Using a food processor, blend tortilla chips, cumin, and coriander until it is a crumb consistency. Dredge each bean patty in the tortilla mixture. Heat oil in large skillet and sauté bean cakes over medium-high heat, turning when they are golden brown.
Serves: 4 (if serving as a appetizer make smaller in to 8)
Source:  Lucky 32

SLOW COOKER Pumpkin and White Bean Lasagna
(don’t be scared off by the title—it is ridiculously good…and the simplest lasagna I have ever made!) 
(For ricotta)
1 T Olive Oil

3 Sundried tomatoes rehydrated by pouring boiling water on them, and let them sit for 5 minutes.  I just got a bag of dehydrated tomatoes. 
1 package tofu.  (again push through—it is WORTH it.)
1 (15oz) can cooked pumpkin
1/4c nutritional yeast (can be found in bulk at whole foods)
1 T Italian seasoning
1 t onion powder (optional)
2 cloves garlic (I used more)
Salt and pepper to taste
(for lasagna)
1 jar marina sauce
1 package of lasagna noodles (your preference)
1 can white beans, drained and rinsed
Night Before:
In a food processor combine olive oil, and tomatoes until paste forms.  Add remaining “ricotta” ingredients until creamy.  Add water if it is too thick.  Taste and adjust seasonings.  Store in fridge overnight.
Morning:
Spray the crock with olive oil for easier clean up.
Spread a thin layer of sauce over the bottom of slow cooker.  Break off the corners on one side of each noodle so that they fit snugly in the slow cooker.  You can add the corners in as well.  Place a single layer of noodles over the sauce.  Spread 1/3 of ricotta mixture over the noodles.  Spread another thin layer of sauce over the ricotta and sprinkle with 1/3 of the white beans on top of that.  Repeat the layers two more times, ending with the last layer of lasagna noodles, and then top that with more sauce.  (I personally added raw spinach to my layers and you could get creative and add any vegetable that you like to your layers!) 
Cook on low for 3 to 4 hours or on high for 1 ½ to 2 hours until a fork will easily go through the middle and the pasta is al dente.  Add 1/2c extra  extra sauce or water if you need to leave it an hour or two longer.
Source:  The Vegan Slow Cooker
Meatless Munchies
(gotta throw in 2 favorite treats…no egg or dairy)

Chocolate Chip Zee Bars
½ c old fashioned oats
½ c oat flour (aka old fashioned oat ground in to flour…I use my food processor and viola:  oat flour!)
½ c vanilla protein powder (any type) or additional ½ c of oat flour
½ t salt
1 T baking powder
½ c + 2 T. unsweetened applesauce
½ c + 2 T. non dairy milk
1 t vanilla
1/4t cinnamon
1/4c + 3 T chocolate chips divided
1t coconut oil
Preheat oven to 350 degrees.  Lightly grease or spray an 8×8 pan with cooking spray and set aside.
In a large bowl, combine oats, oat flour, protein powder, salt, baking powder and cinnamon.
In a smaller bowl, combine applesauce, vanilla and milk.
Add applesauce mixture to oat mixture and stir until just combined.  Add stevia to taste.  Fold in 1/4 c. of chocolate chips.
Pour mixture into baking pan and bake for 20-25 minutes, until bar is set and pulling away from edge of pan.
Allow to cool completely before cutting into kid-sized bars.
For chocolate drizzle, place 3 T. of chocolate chips in a resealable plastic bag and microwave in 30 second increments, kneading bag until chocolate has melted.
Add coconut oil to melted chocolate and knead again.  (you can omit this step)
Snip a tiny corner of the bag with a pair of scissors.  Pipe chocolate across cooled bars and stick bars in fridge or freezer to allow chocolate to set, if desired.
Store remaining bars in the fridge.
Source: http://peasandthankyou.com/
Clean Eating Chocolate Chip Cookies
Preheat oven to 325 degrees F.
Tools
Food processor
 or Large mixing bowl
Spatula
Ingredients
2/3 cup almonds
1/3 cup cooked oatmeal
3 tbsp. agave or honey
1 tsp. vanilla
1 tsp. cinnamon
1/8 cup whole wheat pastry flour
1/2 cup grain sweetened chocolate chips (or dairy free chips)
Note: If you don’t want to use the chocolate chips, they could be very easily substituted with raisins, nuts or dried fruits of any kind.
Directions
Step 1 – Mix everything except the chocolate chips in the food processor. You should have a nice wet, sticky dough when you’re done.
Step 2 – Using your spatula, scrape dough into your mixing bowl and mix in chocolate chips.
Step 3 – Spoon onto a parchment lined cookie sheet.
Step 4 – Bake for 20 minutes.
http://www.thegraciouspantry.com/


May you be a blessing and may you be blessed,

Jenni 

Vegetables are Not My God

~ Jenni at 100 Cups of Coffee ~ 2 Comments
Vegetables are NOT my God.  (Although to be perfectly clear—they are made by God and are SUPER good for you!)  But I will say again…they are not my God. 
Over the past 3 years the Cockerham family meal plan has changed dramatically.  It started with a clean eating challenge that encouraged me to “clean up” my nutrition by eliminating processed food.  Over time this led to an eye-opening education about what I ate and why.  It led to books, articles and documentaries one more astonishing than the next.  At first I was angry.  Angry that the food I ate, that tasted SO good, simply wasn’t that good for me.  And then angry at the FDA and everyone else that told me in moderation it was fine to consume. 
The evolution of what has graced our plates has truly been unbelievable.  To watch my meat and potatoes man eat more vegetables than me most days has been inspiring.  I am thrilled that we are daily, aggressively inserting vegetables in to our diet.
Monday I am starting the Engine 2 Challenge…it is the way our family eats much of the time, but it is even more adventurous in the realm of whole, plant based foods than the vegetarian fare we eat now.  I do not know that the E2 diet will be a fully sustainable choice for our family; but I think that a month of focusing primarily on plants will help me to creatively prepare more vegetables than we even serve now.  
When discussing this challenge with a friend I explained that as passionate about this 28 days as I may be, I want to be careful and cautious not to fall too far on the extreme.  (Many of you laugh and say, “TOO LATE!”)  What I mean by this, is that if I am at a friend’s house I will not refuse a meal offered that does not fall under the plant-based umbrella.   I will not slap a birthday cupcake out of my child’s hand that was offered to him at preschool that contains white sugar and white flour.  People are WAY more important than plants.  
A friend passed on this blog that says what I believe and therefore there is no need to re-invent the wheel:
Unfortunately, the natural, organic lifestyle tends to have a reputation of elitism, and I am uncomfortable with that association.  The last thing I want to do is make those around me feel inadequate or discouraged or judged, and the next to last thing I want to do is raise kids with a superiority complex. Can we say PET PEEVE?  Ugh.
While I do believe that how we eat and feed our families is important, it is NOT the be all and end all.  So with everything else, there is a balance to be achieved.  And when or if my food choices become a point of pride, it is time to seriously re-evaluate what we’re doing and why we’re doing it.”    (Jo-Lynne Shane)  http://www.musingsofahousewife.com/2010/01/food-is-not-my-religion.html
As much as it made me laugh the first time Caleb said he thought we should, “burn down McDonalds;” truth be told, I do not want him to go to school and tell his friend that his school subsidized lunch (and the only lunch he can afford), is not “helfy”.   I want Caleb to care more about his friend’s heart than his vegetable in-take. 
The world is full of gray. I spent my 20s living in a black and white world.  I made snap judgments based on a person’s point of view…and I tended to believe the road I chose was the right and only way.   Over time I realized that the world was made up of many more shades of gray.  I began to understand that life was simply NOT as simple as I had made it out to be.   Living in the world of black and white can be so divisive.  In the “gray” there is grace.  I want to live and move and having my being in the grace. 
Now who would have thunk it…God even had something to say about all this vegetable business!?!?
“Accept other believers who are weak in faith, and don’t argue with them about what they think is right or wrong. For instance, one person believes it’s all right to eat anything. But another believer with a sensitive conscience will eat only vegetables. Those who feel free to eat anything must not look down on those who don’t. And those who don’t eat certain foods must not condemn those who do, for God has accepted them.” – Romans 14:1-3
May you be a blessing and may you be blessed!

Jenni

Be Needy

~ Jenni at 100 Cups of Coffee ~ Leave a comment

Reading is one of my passions.  Yet, there are very few written words that speak to me the way this woman’s words speak.  I sometimes think it is because I know her, I have heard her share her heart and can hear her “voice”.  But truly–I think it is because God has inspired her to write, and has given her a willingness to be so incredibly honest and vulnerable that it reaches in to your very soul and goes as far as to gently ask for a response.

If you have not read “The Climb” it will give you background as to who Cabell Sweeney is and why I think she is such an inspiration.  I thank God for Cabell’s courage throughout this journey and want to share a portion of her last journal entry:

“When I was 19 I became overwhelmed by my need for a Savior. In my dorm room at The University of Georgia I kneeled before God and told Him I was desperate to be loved by Him. I confessed I had made a mess of my life and anything I did to try to fix the brokenness or numb the pain created more of a mess. I told Him I needed Him. But then I got off my knees and set to proving to God that He needed me too. I wanted to be sure He wouldn’t regret picking me for His team. So I started “doing” stuff for God. I became an even better friend, a better student. I became a Young Life leader. I was a good girlfriend, a good teacher and eventually an excellent wife. (Since Sweeney isn’t here to debate the point I’m going with excellent wife.) Sadly, I didn’t stay in a place of desperate need for my Savior.
I didn’t stay “needy” because the world tells us neediness is ugly. Being needy is for the weak. Being needy is too vulnerable, too uncomfortable- too exposed. So we push it away and say we are ok. Doin’ just fine on our own. No one wants to be perceived as needy- “Come on pull yourself together!” is the world’s harsh demand.
We learned so much about need as Sweeney battled cancer. About 4 months into the 18-month battle, with so many times in and out of the hospital, Sweeney began to sleep on the couch. Ironically, our bed was just too comfortable. And his sleep patterns were all messed up. At first I would wake up several times throughout the night to check on him and give him medicine. If he remained awake I would stay with him until he fell back asleep. But at some point I would kiss him and ask, “Do you need anything?” He would answer, “No, I’m ok- I don’t need anything.” After a week or so our bedroom felt too far away so I moved to the guest room. Same routine every night. Get medicine, stay with Sweeney, ask him, “Do you need anything?” Same response, “No. I’m ok- I don’t need anything.” Then the guest room was too far away; so I moved to the love seat next to the couch. And one night as I was leaning over to kiss him asking, “Do you need anything?” I saw the tears streaming down Sweeney’s face. “Cabell, I’m not ok. I just need you. I need to be loved.”
And then something so beautiful happened between us. Something we had tasted so often in our marriage but hadn’t lived in every single day- we realized how much we needed to be loved by the other. It was a fact that cancer revealed. We weren’t afraid of being too vulnerable or too needy. And I came alive in a different way being needed by this incredibly strong, athletic man I loved and respected more than any other living person. So every night that we were alone we snuggled or I rubbed his feet or told him stories of falling in love with Him. I told him how proud I was standing in the back of the room as he told hundreds of high school kids about God’s love for them. I told him what it did inside me to stand on the sideline of the ultimate field and watch him so humbly dominate. I told him how listening to him play guitar was like water in a dry land. I told him every single thing I loved about his heart and his body and his character. I read scripture; we prayed. Until Sweeney died, I slept between the couch and the coffee table because anywhere else was too far away.
Something beyond beauty happens in complete vulnerability. It is what transforms us in the presence of God.
It makes me think of the woman who had been bleeding for 12 years whose story is found in Luke chapter 8. She was desperate. She was so needy. She knew she was not ok, she knew she needed Jesus. But in this crowd of hundreds, maybe thousands was she really the only one who was desperate for healing- desperate for a different life? I doubt it. Maybe she was the only one who had been bleeding for twelve years but surely she wasn’t the only one in pain for over a decade. Surely she wasn’t the only one who had spent “all she had”- all her money, all her time, all her energy, all her hope trying to get well. Surely she wasn’t the only one who needed to hear that she wasn’t  “unclean”- that she was beautiful and dearly loved. She couldn’t have been the only one who wanted someone to love her enough to listen to her “whole story” with compassion. But she was the ONLY one in that moment who had this intimate encounter with the God of Creation, The Savior of the World; because she reached out for Him, for the edge of his robe and in doing so said, “I’m not ok, I need you to love me. I need you to change my circumstances.” And Jesus did.
So here’s my point. Stop trying to not be needy. In my marriage, in my deepest friendships, in my family, in God’s word and in His presence I have known a love that passes understanding. A love that is so tender it makes me cry. It’s because I’ve been too tired and too broken to pretend I am not needy. There has been no choice but to be completely vulnerable. And being in this place of need has allowed God to enter in and love me and change me forever.
2 Corinthians 12:9 Says that God’s power is made perfect in our weakness.”                   Cabell Sweeney

May you be a blessing and may you be blessed,

Jenni

How to Raise a Jerk

~ Jenni at 100 Cups of Coffee ~ 2 Comments
How to Raise a Jerk…
No one that I know would appreciate being a considered a “jerk”, and no one enjoys being in the company of a “jerk”.   So when I saw this article title it caught my eye.  The article was worth sharing.  We all want to raise our children to be healthy positive productive members of society.   Interestingly enough, I think that in our attempts to raise each child to their fullest potential, we may be unintentionally doing harm and not good. 

Continue reading →

Mumford and Sons…Roll Away Your Stone

~ Jenni at 100 Cups of Coffee ~ 1 Comment

Music does not always “speak” to me.  (Hence super old play lists in my studio.)  But recently while cleaning my gym I listened to this song for the first time.  I had heard it over 100 times…but had never really listened.  There I stood with my vacuum in hand, with chills, and tears falling down my face as I heard my story being articulated by this cool trendy band.  I shared it again today with a client, and again was struck by the subtle, yet powerful truth it proclaimed.  She said, “it is like an anthem”.  And it is:  MY ANTHEM.  I pray it might be yours as well.  

Roll away your stone, I’ll roll away mine
Together we can see what we will find
Don’t leave me alone at this time,
For I am afraid of what I will discover inside

You told me that I would find a hole,
Within the fragile substance of my soul
And I have filled this void with things unreal,
And all the while my character it steals

Darkness is a harsh term don’t you think?
And yet it dominates the things I seek

It seems that all my bridges have been burned,
But, you say that’s exactly how this GRACE thing works
It’s not the long walk home 
that will change this heart,
But the welcome I receive with the restart

Darkness is a harsh term don’t you think?
And yet it dominates the things I seek
Darkness is a harsh term don’t you think?
And yet it dominates the things I seek
Darkness is a harsh term don’t you think?
And yet it dominates the things I seek

Stars hide your fires,
And these here are my desires
And I will give them up to you this time around
And so, I’ll be found 
with my stake stuck in this ground
Marking its territory of this newly impassioned soul
hide your fires,
these are my desires
And I will give them up to you this time around
ADD:And so, I’ll be found 
with my stake stuck in this ground
Marking its territory of this newly impassioned soul

But you, you’ve gone too far this time
You have neither reason nor rhyme
With which to take this soul that is so rightfully mine

If given the opportunity, I would strongly urge you to not just read the lyrics, but listen to this song.  It speaks to deep places of our souls.  
May you be a blessing and may you be blessed! 
JC

20 Days of Christmas…a short story

~ Jenni at 100 Cups of Coffee ~ 1 Comment

This is the account of 20 days of Christmas that occurred this past December.  It is written in deep appreciation for all who shared their time, resources, and talents and for a precious family who opened their home and lives to others.  It is NOT a blog…it is a short story.   When you have time, sit by the fire, snuggle in with your computer and celebrate with me all that God did to bring about “the best Christmas ever!”

Note Of Thanks
Thank you does not begin to express the gratitude in my heart for the role that each person played in caring for the Booker Family this Christmas. 
The memories that I will have of the month of December 2011 are rich and I will treasure them in my heart for many, many years to come.
I feel so blessed that I was able to be one of the “messengers” to provide hope, joy, and love to this family.  Through our many visits, my husband and I were quick to remind the Bookers’ that we were just the “messengers.”  We just became the “deliverers” of others’ generous gifts.   Over the past 20 days, from what started with 3 women, grew to upwards of 75 to 100 people sharing what they had to care for and supply the needs of this precious family. 
This simple note of gratitude turned in to a short story spanning the past 20 days of Christmas.  It would take a novel to share every detail or express every emotion.   I could have spent weeks writing and yet I am almost certain that I would still not be able to adequately document all of the details, background, or even the emotion expressed by those who were a part of those magical 20 days.  As the “keeper of the stories” I still felt it was important for others to see how their “thread” was woven together in to a beautiful tapestry of generosity, hope, and love.  When you have a few quiet moments, sit down, grab a cup of coffee, and join me.  Marvel and celebrate humanity’s generosity and a Sovereign hand that brought these two unlikely worlds together. 
Determined Not to Miss Christmas
We have all heard of the famous Christmas carol, “The 12 Days of Christmas.”   This year I was fortunate enough to experience “The 20 Days of Christmas.”  
My husband told Hope Holly Springs that last year (2010) we “missed” Christmas.  As painfully true as it was–it was still hard to swallow.  Don’t get me wrong…last year was full.  At times it was full of some really wonderful things–tree trimming, baking cookies, and Christmas productions.   But it also was full of obligations: presents to buy, parties to attend, people to entertain.  It was packed so full of “things and stuff” that in our efforts to make memories and solidify traditions, we simply missed the essence of Christmas.  Last year starting on December 26th I spent several days in a funk because I knew I had missed it.  I also knew I would have to wait another 350ish more days until I got another chance to do it again.   This year, determined not to miss the true Spirit of Christmas, we picked a family off the “Tree of Hope.”  This family was designated by Wake County schools as a family in need of assistance over the Christmas season.  Our “job” was to help provide their children with some clothing and a gift from their wish list.   MANY families were chosen from the tree…but I am certain that this family was chosen for us.  In my lifetime I do not believe I have seen God so active and obvious in such a short concentrated span of time.  There were just too many coincidences…too many pieces that fit together “too” perfectly.  Each thread woven together seamlessly and at the end there was a beautiful friendship that formed, hope delivered, and lives were changed. Thanks to the Booker Family and the many people involved in this story, I did not miss Christmas this year!  No, the Spirit of Christmas has filled the past 20 days of my life and I hope it’s impact will continue to spill over in to my next 20 years of life! 


The Story Begins…
          My initial phone call was made to Sophia on December 6th.  I was a little nervous to call as it is sort of a strange “exchange” to explain why you are calling and what your intentions are.  Quickly Sophia put me at ease with her excitement and gratefulness for our willingness to help. 
After my first phone call to Sophia, I realized that there were much greater needs for this family than simply some clothing and Christmas gifts for their children.   A friend had offered to bring Christmas dinner and so I asked Sophia if she might be interested in a friend providing their Christmas meal?  She paused silently as if somewhat shocked or as if she was processing the information.  She then explained that her family had had an electrical fire and lost their stove.  She shared that a meal would be ideal as she was not certain what they would do for a holiday meal this year.   Apparently, they were cooking on an old hot plate and a griddle.   
As the conversation continued I realized that they were not just a family of 6 but the children’s Grandmother and Great-Grandmother lived in the home as well.  Over time, I found out that they had another daughter who lived locally, who was pregnant, with a grandson just days from being born.   Quickly it became apparent that this was a larger undertaking than originally expected. 
The family did not expect us to provide more than some simple gifts and clothes.   Deep within my being I knew that much more was needed and that if we could provide some of these “household necessities” this was going to be a very special Christmas for all parties involved!  I wasn’t sure if in 20 days anything significant could be accomplished…it was the “thick” of the holiday season…but I shot up a quick prayer for hope and generosity.  What happened next was beyond my wildest dreams or imagination. 
3 + Compassion = Unimaginable Generosity
What started as two families caring for the Bookers quickly turned in to three.  My friend Allison is a “connector” and has an unparalleled heart for serving those in need.   She shared this story with her family, her neighborhood, her friends, and her friends’ friends. Through her heart, passion and connections, we delivered 5-6 truck loads of household items over the next 20 days of Christmas.  
It really started with an email that Allison sent mentioning that she knew a couple who owned a couch.  The couple was hoping to donate this couch to a family in need.  At the time I had not phoned the Bookers, nor did I know that their home needed furniture.  After Sophia and I spoke and I learned of the stove fire I realized that there might be other furniture needs.  Sophia explained that they had moved in to their home prior to her husband losing his business.  They moved so that they might have more room and also be in a safer neighborhood.  She explained though, that they did not have the furniture to fill this more spacious home.  When asked if she might be able to use the couch she paused in what I now know was shock and amazement.  (Another “need” met without asking!  We had never even met one another.  How would I know about her needs for a stove or furniture?)  But a sovereign God knew and used others generosity to provide it.  
Moving…Furniture and Hearts
My husband and I borrowed a truck from a friend. (We used their truck 4 different times to deliver goods back and forth—yet another provision!)  Our first stop was at the home of the kind “New Yorkers” who owned the couch.  They were so happy to share what appeared to be a brand new couch!  Incredibly, the couch had been on Craigslist with no prospects, for over a month; but on the very day we arrived to pick it up—someone expressed their interest to purchase it!  The couple explained that even if someone would offer 100 times it’s original price, they would not take it now…they were so overjoyed just to be able to give it to a family that really needed it.  In addition to the couch, this couple offered a toaster oven that was in great condition.  We don’t believe that they had knowledge of the Booker’s need of a stove.  They seemed touched to know that this oven might be able to be used to cook for the family of eight! 
My husband and I delivered the couch to an empty room.  It was a huge improvement!  Vivian (the grandmother) kept saying over and over, “it’s beautiful!”  I could not agree more.  The email that started with a question about a couch began a huge chain of emails and generosity that poured out upon this family.   Those 5-6 truck loads that we delivered included items such as beds, mattresses, dressers, book shelves, end tables, lamps, bedding, a crock pot, blankets, bags of clothes, toys, and much more!  There were new needs met daily and it appeared that each gift delivered was hand-picked by God for this family.
 
The beautiful new couch was then paired with a brown chair (donated from another family) that matched as if it had been a set in a show room.   The giver of the chair had explained that as a kid, he grew up in the Bronx and he appreciated his parents desire to provide for him…and he hoped to give to this family so that they might be able to provide a better life for their children.  
Back to the Basics
I had noticed that the Bookers’ kitchen appeared somewhat “bare” and so in a blog I mentioned simple things like canned goods would be appreciated.  A friend brought over 2 bags of food that she intended to donate to the food donation drop box at Lowes.   She took the bags of food earlier in the week prior to receiving my email—but the box was not out that day.  She loaded her bags back in car only to come home and learn of the Booker family and my request for food.  She delivered the canned goods and a gift card for more groceries.  The next time I visited Sophia, she enthusiastically brought me in to her kitchen and showed me the fresh fruit on the counter and the pantry full of food.   She was SO grateful for this gift and it was something that was clearly intended for the Booker family!  
One of the first conversations that I had with Sophia revealed that her children needed new shoes.  I had asked her if there were other “needs” not mentioned.  She explained that the children’s shoes had holes and several had worn through the soles.  This broke my heart and I knew I would have to figure out how to get the children new shoes.  This wasn’t in my “original” budget…but I lifted a silent prayer knowing that the shoes were a “top priority”.   I shared with my two friends (who were helping with the family) about the immediate “needs” and “wishes” of the family and Allison responded immediately explaining that her mother desired to purchase the children shoes.  Incredibly, her father was a cobbler and she believed that no child should be without proper shoes!  So on a Saturday morning she met the family at Dick’s and bought all of the children brand new shoes.  My father in law believes we all should have comfortable shoes and a comfortable bed and I was so very pleased that these precious children would be leaving the store with nice,  new comfortable shoes!  The smiles were contagious. 
Kids get in on the Action
Sophia shared that her daughter had some disabilities with her feet and she needed a wide shoe.  She also explained that the school would often call and ask Sophia to pick up her daughter due to discomfort that she was experiencing throughout her day.  My daughter (who wore the same size shoe) was given a pair of Uggs from a friend last season.  Even though Kylee enjoyed them, she also had plenty of other pairs of shoes.  The more Kylee and I talked, the more we discussed how much these shoes might be a great gift to Vanessa.  They were wide and really fit more like slippers.  It was so sweet to see Vanessa’s face of excitement and hear the reports that these shoes not only fit but were comfortable for her feet.
            A few days later Allison’s daughter Palmer shared her beautiful Barbie house with Vanessa.    LeAnne’s daughter brought Vanessa her Princess Tiana Barbie doll for her house.   Both were unexpected pre-Christmas gifs that were treasured by Vanessa.
            Allison, LeAnne and I were grateful for a teaching moment for our daughters that encourages them to look not only to their own interests but also to the interests of others; to share, and to not hold too tightly to “things”.  
Appliances Provided
The showers of generosity continued.  Around the 10th day of Christmas someone donated a brand NEW washing machine.  (Prior to that, the family was mostly hand washing their family clothes or fighting for machines at the laundry mat).  A few days later, a new electric dryer was donated by a family who had just moved to town. When they arrived at their new home they had gas, not electric and they were happy their old/new dryer could go to a family that needed one.  The Bookers’ overnight went from hand-washing to a new washer and dryer!    This seemed to baffle Sophia as the gifts and donations were above and beyond what she could have dreamed.  Gifts that she referred to as, “God’s best!”   
My friend LeAnne had shared that she and her husband wanted to provide the Bookers’ with a new stove.   This gift was personal in that LeAnne very much enjoys cooking and providing her family with healthy meals.  She also values the quality family time around the table during dinner.  She hoped to help reduce the stress of cooking in the Bookers’ home.  This was yet another gift that Sophia described as God opening up heaven and pouring out his “best.”
A Timely Sale Makes the Difference
LeAnne and I had decided to take the kids to Old Navy to find some new clothes—it made more sense to find them things that they enjoyed and that fit!   The weekend that we decided to go happened to be “friends and family” weekend.  That meant everything was an additional 30% off.   We were so pleased because this meant that we would be able to get “more” for each child than we had originally anticipated.   But alas at this point I stopped looking for the “coincidences” and realized that this was yet another Sovereign provision.
An Eye-Opening Chicken Sandwich
The shopping trip was exciting and overwhelming at times…but I will say that the most humbling part was when we decided we should go to lunch.   It had been a long day of shoe and clothes shopping and we all were a little cranky and hungry.   We loaded the family in the car and took everyone to Chick-fi-la.  Everyone stood quietly waiting to order and Sophia finally said, “What is good?  We have never been here before.”  My heart ached a little in embarrassment at how often I had frequented the restaurant and taken my convenience meals for granted.  She kept exclaiming it was the BEST chicken sandwich she had ever eaten!  We were so pleased to be able to treat their family to even this simple meal…and the conversations with Sophia and her family continued to be a highlight of this 20 day adventure. 
Baby Boy Brings Beautiful Bounty
Watching so many give and share what they had with others caused me to be believe that we might even be able to share with their eldest daughter Brianna who was days away from delivering a little baby boy.  The emails went out and within 24 hours, diapers, a car seat, a baby bath, a beautiful swing, clothes and blankets were waiting to be delivered.  It was remarkable to see yet another need met in such a generous way.   I met the sweet young couple at the hospital after Justin Tyler was born and they were so very grateful for these gifts of love and support.
The Ordinary Becomes Extraordinary
The provision of others for this family was above and beyond what I could have ever imagined.  One woman offered to wrap all of the gifts that we had purchased for the children.  Yet another took all of the money she planned on using to workout that week and spent it on the family providing them with clothes and other household needs.  I offered a 6am strength class that was designated as an opportunity to donate household items and gift cards to the Bookers.  The response was tremendous.    People shared their time, their connections, and their resources.   Daily my porch was flooded with furniture, bags of clothes, and household items like toilet paper, and cleaning supplies. Sophia kept reminding me, “I need people to know, this is not stuff that we wanted, but things we really NEEDED!”   She explained that just before her husband lost his business to a down turn in the economy, they had moved in to their home.   It was a bigger house in a safer neighborhood.  The move had positioned them to better neighbors, good schools, and safer conditions;  but after his job loss, they were working to just “put food on the table and keep the lights on”.   In the midst of this season, Sophia and her husband Jerry, who have been married for 19 years, sold their wedding rings just to keep their family in the home that they currently live.   Whether we brought a new bed, washer, food or toiletries, all were received with the same amount of appreciation and gratitude! 
Not to Mention, The Unmentionables
Yet another “non-coincidence” that occurred was that I had discussed with Allison and LeAnne how great it would be to allow Sophia and Jerry to go and buy a few gifts for the family and also take care of some of their “needs” like new socks and underwear.  This was territory I was not super comfortable covering!   I had whispered a few prayers for the provision of extra “money” as this was not something that was in our budget.  Within the next 72 hours a generous Wal-Mart gift certificate was donated.   It was the ideal amount and was something that would provide for their under garment needs as well as some special gifts for the entire family. 
Making Wishes Come True
It was special to also see the provision of not just their “needs” but also a few “wishes” as well.  A brand new pink shiny bike was provided for Vanessa (the youngest) on Christmas morning.    The boys ages 10 and 13 really were hoping for a gaming system.  Allison said we should,  “pray for a system to fall from heaven.”  A few days later a gift certificate for the exact amount of a new Wii was donated explaining to use as “needed”.   Jerica, the 16 year old, really needed a computer for school.  Sohpia  explained that several assignments were online and often she had to go to the library, but because gas money was very limited, even this was becoming an issue.   In an extraordinary act of generosity, a brand new Dell computer was donated along with a printer!    In addition to all of this, a friend also shared tickets to a Hurricanes game.  The Canes inherited 2 new young fans ages 10 and 13 on the 23rd of December!  
Wearing Our Hearts on Our Sleeves (Literally)
Sophia (and I) continued to marvel at the “details”.   On the 7th day of Christmas, Allison, and LeAnne and I took Sophia to lunch.  While driving to the restaurant she expressed embarrassment about her coat.  The coat was an old camouflage army coat that belonged to her husband.   It was well worn and she was convinced since she was not able to properly do her laundry was concerned that it smelled.  I assured her that we did not care what her clothes looked like and that we simply cared about her heart.  Having said this, I knew it was still a very courageous moment for her to push past her exterior insecurities to allow us in to her life and go to lunch.   Just a few weeks later as Sophia walked up to us on the “shoe shopping day,” she was wearing jeans that fit, and a fleece jacket that looked like it had been tailor-made for her body.   I hugged her and whispered how beautiful she looked and she replied “I feel beautiful.”  We don’t need designer clothes…but an internal transformation can occur and give us confidence when we have clothes that fit and make us feel beautiful.  For many of us, this is a luxury that we take for granted.  It was wonderful to be able to give Sophia and her family this gift. 
Oh What A Night
One of my favorite nights was a night that we decided to “carol” the family and deliver one of the truck loads of gifts.   Jerry and Sophia (the parents) were actually at the hospital with their oldest daughter and their grandson.  Jerica (16) welcomed us in, and about 20 strangers congregated in the Bookers’ living room.  The room was full of joy, full of music, full of smiles, and full of love.  Jerica (who loves Christmas) told me later that it was one of her favorite nights ever.  She was such a precious hostess and it was such a beautiful picture of two unlikely worlds colliding…all to make it… “the best Christmas ever”! 
In a continued indicator of this 20 days being much bigger than we could have ever dreamed or imagined…I will briefly share this story:
The night we went caroling it came to our attention that there was another family who was in need and could use some assistance this Christmas.   In the abundance of generosity that was poured out toward the Booker family; we had some additional clothes, toys and household items.   The family in need lived close to the Bookers and so after we caroled their family we caroled this new family and delivered items to the young couple and their 4 year old daughter.  They were shocked by this random act of kindness.  The mom wrote a kind and heart-felt note of appreciation:
“What you all did was so inspiring and probably one of the nicest things that has ever happened to me in all my 32 years (honestly) and thank you for for showing my Daughter how nice and kind people can be and the magic of Christmas caroling (we have never seen that), it made me think that I spend so much time teaching her the dangers of strangers and to be safe that maybe I forget to mention more often all the wonderful giving caring people in the world.
You went above and beyond and you helped us have a great Christmas not only in material gifts but also the gifts of the heart and helping us remember the things that are most important ( Love Helping others Friendship/Family and God).”
Families and Friendship
         It was my hope that we would not just drop off gifts but get quality time with the Booker family.   I was drawn to Sophia as she is woman of generosity herself.  She shares a home with her grandmother and mother.  She is raising her nephew, and quick to be helpful with her grandson and daughter who are out of the home.  The children have wonderful manners and do not believe they are entitled to anything they receive.  I admire her leadership in her home and I appreciate her children and how kind they have been to my children.  Allison, LeAnne and I hope to continue to stay connected to this family.  The friendships that have formed are just as much of a blessing as witnessing the material provisions provided over the 20 days of Christmas. 
Slowing down this Christmas did mean “doing less” at times.  It meant a few less parties, a few less trips to the mall, and a few less cookies made.  It meant doing less, but accomplishing more.  It meant deep impact made on our own lives as well as the lives of so many.  It meant bridging the gap between two worlds and finding common ground.  It meant opening ourselves up to the lives of others, and watching a sovereign God orchestrate a miracle in and through us, just like he did many Christmases ago.
Thank you for the role you played in making this the “best Christmas ever”. 
 May you be a blessing and may you be blessed.

Jenni 

Cockerham Family Christmas Card

~ Jenni at 100 Cups of Coffee ~ 1 Comment

“God came to us because He wanted to join us on the road, to listen to our story…This is the great mystery of Christmas that continues to give us comfort and consolation:  we are not alone on our journey.”    

Henri Nouwen


Wishing you a Merry Christmas and a real sense of His presence on your journey!        

Love, 
Chris, Jenni, Kylee, Caleb, and Joshua

Family Fun Run on Thanksgiving

Caleb would like to be a vet when he grows up!
Kylee was a mouse in the Nutcracker  this year
Dad and Joshua
Our “baby” turned 3!
The Three Musketeers

Joshua wearing his favorite outfit and cape!
He says he wants to be a super hero when he grows up.
Chris and Jenni did the Metro Dash this year.
Chris actually ran it twice…impressive!
Hannah and Jenni enjoying a snow day.