A Collection of Lies: Truth on Nutrition

~ Jenni at 100 Cups of Coffee ~ Leave a comment
My daughter started kindergarten last year being able to identify a few site words, able to print her letters and spell her name.  The few times I offered to work with her on reading she claimed utter disinterest.  She enjoyed being read to, but became hostile and frustrated when she tried to sound out a word that she did not know.   Mrs. Downen on the other hand, did a beautiful job explaining the “rules” of reading to my daughter.  By the end of the year Kylee’s reading world was unlocked and she began a new journey of reading with an insatiable appetite for more.  Kylee is a reading machine, she is obsessed with a fairy series right now and is reading a chapter book a night…it really is practically a miracle!  The pace she and I were on together would have brought about an illiterate 15 year old!   I realized as I embarked on this journey with women discussing the lies that they believed, it was incredibly relevant to my little Kylee.  On more than one occasion, she shouted in my face before running out of the room, “I just can’t do this.”  She absolutely could do it—it was just going to take time and effort, patience and perseverance.  It was going to take learning, “I” before “E” except after “C” and other charming nuances of the English language.  I wonder at what point Kylee realized that she actually COULD in fact read?  It was clearly a life-changing moment for her.  I am SO thankful that Kylee found truth.  I am so thankful that a whole new world has been opened to her.  I am so glad that she is not stuck in ignorance, but her eyes have been opened.  The world is her oyster.  
When I began “collecting lies” from the women in my studio a little over a month ago I had no idea it was going to result in a series of blogs.  Blogs varying in topics from exercise and nutrition to balance and self worth.   I am taking on the topic of lies to help women become healthier; my hope is that they will replace their lies with truth.
Nutrition has become a passion of mine.  When I began my exercise journey several years ago I really did so with the intention that I would workout so that I could eat whatever I wanted.  My “lies” ran the nutritional gamut but sounded mostly like this:
“I could never give up fatty, salty, or sugary foods…they bring me too much comfort and happiness!”
“I will always need Papa John’s pizza the week of my period!”
“People who say healthy food actually tastes good, are lying to themselves and to others.”
“I workout so that I can eat however I want…because I don’t want to give up how food makes me feel.” 
I can honestly say that through much education, mental shifts, and a commitment to this part of my health and wellness, these lies have been dispelled in my life.  I truly was an emotional eater in every sense of the word.  It took asking myself WHY I was eating or thinking I NEEDED to eat to tackle some of the deeper more ingrained habits that I had.  It was bigger than purely changing some components of my diet.  It was a mental shift.  It was a HUGE time commitment that spent hours investigating more about what I eat, why I eat, and how to prepare food in a healthy way.  It took an investment of time and money to figure out where to shop, what to shop for, and to find out what new foods I liked.    
I made the shift initially because I was given a “challenge” to eat clean for 9 weeks.   I did so kicking and screaming.  You can ask those closest to me about my whining and angst.   When I surrendered to the process and actually started to research what was good for me and what wasn’t I became more motivated.  When I found out what I was putting in my body was not only making me fat, sick, and lethargic…but also the way that I was eating was slowing my metabolism down, it made me realize that I was having to work even harder in the gym to make up for my nutritional mishaps.  I also became convinced that the things that I was feeding my family were not only “unhealthy” but some things were not even “food”.  They held no nutritional value.   My plight to better nutrition started with a challenge but ended with a stronger, leaner body, a healthier family and a new perspective on food and nutrition. 
This subject area is super personal.  Each lie listed is followed by truth that has either been shared by myself or someone else in her pod.  I think sharing truth affirms what we know—and deepens our convictions.   It is part of the exercise.  See if any of these ring true for you…
“My nutrition will never be as consistent as my workouts.”
Just like the hours and hours of hard work that you put in the gym…you will have to invest the time and energy in to making nutrition a focus and priority.  You will have to train your mind and your taste buds to a new way of living.   Just as your were sore and fatigued to the point of pure exhaustion when you first started pod—you will be exhausted mentally to have to continue to choose options that are not convenient or as “appealing” as the typical American appetite. Over time just as your workouts have become habit—so will your food preferences!  PROMISE!


I definitely have peaks and valleys in my nutrition but I think it’s all in the way I frame my beliefs and priorities.  I would never say I could not keep up daily showers or brushing my teeth.  Healthy eating is just as important if not more so, as it sustains impacts every other part of me.  When it’s that level of priority to me of course I can be consistent.  Find healthy dishes and recipes you enjoy–it will be much easier to be consistent.  
“If I don’t get a $1  32oz sweet tea from McDonalds everyday, I’ll never get in the goal of 64 oz of fluid.”
That “fluid” really is best found in H2O.   Sweet tea not only has 280 calories…which is like a “mini meal” or “snack”.  It also has 69 grams of sugar.  We really should be taking in very limited amounts of sugar—primarily that are found in our food in the form of carbohydrates.  The “additional” sugars should be limited to about 40g per day…and that one tea is pushing you over the edge before you have started your work day.   (This does not even speak to the caffeine ingested—but there is only so much room to write this!)  You absolutely need those 64oz of H2O per day.  75% of your body is made up of water and 90% of your brain!  That alone should be motivation to keep hydrated.  That wonderful liquid helps to sustain your life, keep your system flushed and your organs functioning properly.   Go buy a couple of cute water bottles or cups with a  straw and get to work.  Make it your JOB.   Drive on past the drive thru and get excited about the $30.00 you will spend at the end of each month on a new cute little skirt or shirt! 
I don’t want to lecture, but I’m guessing you know that sweet tea doesn’t count toward your goal.  The caffeine in tea acts as a diuretic and will actually dehydrate you.  And don’t even mention the sugar!!  It is hard to get the water in.  Here’s a tip – try getting 2 glasses in the morning while you’re getting dressed and having breakfast.   It gives you a jump-start on the day! 
“Eating when I’m not hungry—even if it is in preparation for a workout or to avoid hunger later–will slow down my weight loss process.”   
Truth…it might, if you are eating double stuff oreos!   
One of the best ways to raise your metabolic effect is to fuel your body continuously throughout the day.   Unfortunately many of us have confused our “natural hunger signals” or quieted them to the point of non-existence.  We often have to begin again re-training our body and placing it on a new eating schedule with 5-6 small mini meals throughout the day so that is keeps our resting metabolic rate up.   A small amount of a protein and a complex carb prior to a workout is a great option.  You would not start a long car ride with little to no gas in the tank.  The snack can be as few as 100-200 calories.  (Slightly higher on the carb side.)  This just ensures that you are fully functioning at peak performance every time you step foot in the gym.  Suggestions might be piece of whole wheat toast and almond or peanut butter, a small apple and half a string cheese, single serving Greek yogurt with fruit, an apple and nut butter, half whole wheat bagel and spreadable fruit, cereal with reduced fat milk or almond milk, a banana, Kashi or lara bar.  Your body will respond to this new scheduling and your signals will become better indicators in the future.  In the meantime trust your brain over your body.  
Not true!!! Definitely a lie!  You need to eat to fuel your body for the job ahead.  Does your car get better mileage with no gas?  I don’t think so!   It’s a known fact that skipping meals makes you gain weight.  Skipping breakfast slows your metabolism and gets the hunger hormones going which makes you eat more later in the day.  Skipping any meal will also result in overeating at the next meal.   Eat to fuel, eat what God put on this earth, stay away from processed foods and you should see results.
“If I eat more than 1200 calories I will gain weight.”
The U. S. Department of Agriculture Dietary Guidelines for Americans state that a sedentary female 4 to 8 years of age requires about 1,200 calories per day!   You are neither sedentary nor an 8 year old female!  Your body NEEDS FUEL.  If you are only consuming between 800-1800 calories in a day and you are ACTIVE…(and you are if you are in pod)…then you are totally shutting down your metabolism.  Your body is going in to hibernation and starvation mode.  This mode sends messages to “store fat” because it NEVER knows when it will be given food again!  I don’t like to look at caloric intake scales very much because they vary greatly and most experts have a difficult time actually calculating exact amounts consumed.  I personally HATE them because people believe that 1 calorie simply equals 1 calorie.  But the focus should be on the nutrients you consume.  Your body has never “needed” an oreo cookie for it’s functioning…but if you consume 1 double stuff oreo it has the exact same number of calories that ½ an avocado contains.  That avocado is high in fiber, is a good source of protein, “good fat”, and is a complex carb—which my pod girls know is a good thing!  That avocado will give you significantly more energy and is not choked full of preservatives and sugar.  So calories cannot just simply be “counted”.  Shift the focus away from caloric intake and on to the nutritional VALUE of what you are putting in you body.  Small portions (5 to 6 mini meals) of fruits and vegetables, lean proteins and complex carbs. If you do—your metabolism will fire up again and your body will begin to run properly.  Until then your body will SUSTAIN weight and use other resources…i.e. your own muscle to nourish itself! 
Uh-oh. I recognize this talk… I’ve done it to myself. I’ve been a slave to calorie counts. I’ve eaten below what I knew to be an acceptable amount of calories in an effort to lose weight. I’ve gone over and over in my head what I need to eat that day or do that day just to stave off my fear: weight gain. This is an exhausting way to live. Clearly you care about your physical health or you wouldn’t be in POD… don’t deprive your body. It’s a good sign you recognize this is a LIE. So stop telling yourself this lie! Let go of your fears and live a conscientious life without all of these rules and mantras that lead to unhappiness. 😦 


When I started exercising with pod and also following the Eat Clean method I started eating way more food/calories per day but I lost 7 lbs and dropped inches in several places.  The book says, “Food we eat works to either stimulate or slam the breaks on metabolism.”  To maintain healthy weight you must nourish your body with high quality food at regular intervals.  When you wait too long between meals or skip one entirely, you trigger a starvation response in metabolism, which causes it to slow down.  Eating small meals every day 3-4 hours ensures metabolism will stay hyped all day.  I can’t imagine a day of counting my calories, let alone do it every day–that’s just no way to live.  I think you also know not every calorie is equal.  Calories from ice cream are quite different from eating black bean soup that will keep you full much longer.  I pray you find a way to free yourself of the calorie counting and focus on being healthy and enjoying food and exercise.”  
My nutrition shifted because I was externally motivated by Janine who issued the “challenge”.  I also had a few other women who were willing to walk with me on the journey.  I would encourage you to find a friend to come along side and learn with you.  Here are some WONDERFUL resources that speak TRUTH over this area of our lives:
The End of Overeating.  David A. Kessler, MD
http://www.theendofovereatingbook.com/ps/?keycode=098269&ctt_id=32498859&ctt_adnw=Google&ctt_kw=the%20end%20of%20overeating&ctt_ch=ps&ctt_entity=kw&ctt_adid=3416235899&ctt_nwtype=search&ctt_cli=2%5E9744%5E43083%5E706955
The New Rules of Lifting for Women (has a great section on nutrition)
http://www.thenewrulesoflifting.com/nrol-for-women
The Body Fat Solution Bill Venuto  (has a great chapter on emotional eating)
http://www.thebodyfatsolution.com/
Food Inc.
http://www.foodincmovie.com/
Forks Over Knives
http://forksoverknives.com/
The China Study
http://www.thechinastudy.com/
Recipe Books and Blogs
http://peasandthankyou.com/2011/06/23/recipeas-worth-repeating-yukon-gold-white-bean-basil-burgers/
http://www.eatcleandiet.com/tosca_reno.aspx
http://www.thegraciouspantry.com/
For many of the women reading this blog you may have found a lie that touched a nerve or a theme in your life.   If something did in fact affect you today, my encouragement would be to start a journal or a diary of sorts.   Maybe start to dig a little deeper…
Questions for self reflection…
What are lies that I believe about food and nutrition? 
Are there things that I do to shape my day surrounding my food decisions?
Were there things mentioned today that have challenged me to change my thoughts on this subject?
What do I hope to actively do to combat this lie in my life?
I am so thankful that Kylee did not stay “stuck”.  That she did not cling so deeply in fear and frustration to the lie that she could not read.  I am so glad that she opened herself up to the experience and tried.  She found a hunger for something more.   The mystery of when her defenses went down and she surrendered to the process is unknown…but I am thankful she did.  I am hopeful for the same in your life.  Can you imagine not being able to read this blog because you simply stayed stuck the lie that you “couldn’t”???  I am thankful you pushed through…and I hope you will continue on your own journey to dispel each lie that surfaces, because alas, the world is your oyster. 

A Collection of Truths

~ Jenni at 100 Cups of Coffee ~ 1 Comment
I am a truth teller, always have been always will be.  I know that at times the truth hurts.  I also know that the truth can set us free. 
In the midst a lot of push ups, sprints, burpees, and bench presses I am committed to forcing the women in my pods to do mental exercises.  This particular exercise was so good that it was worth repeating.  I asked my podstars to share a lie (or lies) that they believe about themselves.  It is often difficult to distinguish between a truth and a lie…here are a few distinguishers.  Lies are never constructive.  These particular “lies” that I am speaking of are things that you run over and over in your mind.  They can be all-consuming.  They are almost always negative.  They are rarely motivating or a good use of our thought lives.  These words or phrases actually defeat us and can effect the way we interact with others and live out our days.  Because we fail to recognize them as lies, we allow them to sabotage who we we desire to become.  
As we all know, and what I have been able to experience in a very real way in my studio, is that the physical, the psychological, and the spiritual are all intertwined and are not meant to be separated.  Since the women in my pods sense this as well, they did not restrict themselves to lies that simply related to fitness and nutrition.  Instead they shared lies that pervaded all parts of their lives including the physical.
I discussed with my girls that I hoped they would be willing to share some of their personal lies so that others in the group might be able to shed light and speak truth over them.  Anonymously they gave me their lies and then I posted them throughout the studio.   The job of the women in pod was to combat those lies.  They were to pick several lies that were not their own and speak truth over them.  My sweet pod girls were tremendously raw and transparent.  I was struck by their candor and I realized it would be “blog worthy” as I am certain most of these lies are common if not universal. 
I am going to share only a cross-section of these with you for the sake of this remaining a blog and not turning in to a novel…but my hope is that you too might be courageous enough to be honest and ask yourself tough questions.  My hope is that you might be willing to dig deep with the intention to find truth. 
Tonight I will leave you with the themes of my next 4 blogs…
Nutrition – I will never be as disciplined with food as I am with exercise.  Food controls me.  I am an emotional eater.  I cannot eat or I will gain weight. 
Weight Loss, Exercise, and Body Image – I have to keep losing weight to feel beautiful or to feel like I am accomplishing my exercise goals.  I will never get rid of my pudge, double chin, belly fat from having kids, etc.  I will never be at my desired weight.   Skinny is beautiful…nothing else is. 
Feeling like I am never enough – job, family, wife, friend, etc.  I give all I have but still feel defeated at the end of each day.
Balance – between work and being a mom…this will probably be posted on a Mommy Confessions Monday in the near future! 
I hope you will join me on this journey as I share my collection of truths.  Truth that I was able to share with my pod girls and truths that they were willing to share with one another.   The truth can set us free.  
~ Jenni at 100 Cups of Coffee ~ 1 Comment

May I Take Your Order?             
“One Big Bowl of Discomfort Please!”
This morning on a run I was reminded of a “Jenni” that existed in the not so distant past.  That Jenni was battling her body.  She was uncomfortable in her own skin.  She hated shopping for clothes and hated the way the fabric clung to her in all the wrong places.  Not only did she not like what was going on with her body—she didn’t like the way she felt about food.  The past Jenni LOVED food…but felt guilty when she ate too much or too little…and hated that she ate when she was stressed, angry, or bored.   
Jenni of the not so distant past was living in the safety and security of her comfort zone. Her comfort zone was a fantasy that kept her from growing and changing.   She hoped doing as little work as possible would gain tremendous personal transformation.  (Isn’t that our human nature?  We seek pleasure and avoid pain?!)   In an attempt to avoid pain and stay comfortable, Jenni of the not so distant past lived in her comfort zone.  She believed if she lifted heavy she would bulk up.  Therefore she decided never to touch a dumbell heavier than 8lbs.  That was comfortable.  She decided running hurt her knees and made her face flush bright pink.  Therefore she never ran more than a mile or two, never ran uphill, she ran only when the weather was a perfect 65 degrees, and she never ran while on her period.  That was comfortable.  She believed that if she did anything out of the ordinary in the gym she might stand out and be viewed as strange.  Therefore she “ran” on the elliptical or read a book on the bike.  Again that was comfortable.   Unfortunately, the not so distant past Jenni clung tightly to her beliefs but found that “when you do what you’ve always done, you get what you’ve always gotten.”  Therefore the Jenni of the distant past was constantly battling the discomfort of her body and the mind games she played with food.
Fast forward to this morning’s run.  I have been healing from an injury and haven’t gotten to run in a while.  On the run I was mentally battling every hill, every straight away, and every internal voice that was screaming: QUIT!  (Or at least walk!)  I was listening to my breathing and how strained it seemed to be.  I was listening to my knees that were very angry with each steep incline.  I was drenched in sweat.  The sun’s heat was uncomfortable.  I was attuned to my abdomen that felt heavy and bloated because I am in fact on my period.  (Sorry if that is TMI.)  I was listening to my body screaming at me and telling me there was NO need to go on.  I was listening to my nauseous stomach and thinking why would one run to the point of feeling sick?  
The Jenni of the not so distant past would have quit.  She probably wouldn’t have even laced up her tennis shoes.  She would have quit at the first thought of a side cramp coming on.  God forbid that she feel the least bit uncomfortable!
However the Jenni of the current present has a new “comfort zone”.  She decided to resign herself to the process and accept being uncomfortable.  She was willing to let go of her former beliefs regarding exercise recognizing that it simply wasn’t working.  She was tired of being uncomfortable in her own skin and was ready for true transformation.  Not just physically but mentally as well.  She was ready to get rid of the excuses.  She was ready to stop being a slave to her taste buds.  She was ready to have food simply be “fuel”.  She was ready for truth to prevail.  The truth that she was stronger than she even knew.  That she has an internal strength that was connected to body, mind, and spirit.  That nothing tasted better than being strong and feeling lean. 
Jenni of the present is willing to get comfortable in discomfort.  She understands that “life begins at the end of your comfort zone.”  Slowly one push up at a time, she builds her confidence.  She endures a love/hate relationship with burpees.  Climbing each hill, lifting each heavy weight she finds an inner strength.  She resigns herself to the fact that the process is a journey.  She views this journey as more than physical.  One that builds mental, emotional and spiritual character.    
I am so thankful for the type of run I experienced this morning.   It does not let me forget the Jenni of the not so distant past.  It is a reminder of my humanity and my natural reflex to seek pleasure and avoid pain.  It is a reminder that just yesteryear I was hurdling mental obstacle after mental obstacle to just get to the gym, never mind own one!  It is a reminder of the feelings of most of the women that step in my studio –  discouraged, uncomfortable, yet ready for a change, but with no real direction on how to get to the next place.  I am a living, breathing, “running” reminder that it CAN be done and it is worth every uncomfortable hill that we tackle.  Submitting to the process is worth it.   More importantly, YOU are worth it!  

Licking Mirrors…

~ Jenni at 100 Cups of Coffee ~ 1 Comment

 One of my simple pleasures is finding a good deal.  My mom on her fridge for years had a bumper sticker that said “I”d rather be shopping!”  She shopped me out as I kid so as an adult I am not a shopper in the sense of “sport” but I DO love a good deal.  A few weekends ago there was a big “stuff and save” type sale and summer items like shorts and shirts were deeply discounted.  Red flags went flying up.  Chris was in desperate need of a few things, so we decided to turn the trip into a family affair.   We needed to go to the Farmers Market that morning and Chris suggested we  “pop in” to Old Navy for a pair of shorts and a few shirts.  Of course on Saturday morning during “stuff and save,” it was packed.  We ran into neighbors, long lost friends, distant relatives and needless to say, the twenty minute trip quickly burned well in to an hour.  Caleb and Joshua were restless and I am pretty sure they were pretending to be “puppies.”  At one point they were both on their hands and knees crawling across the floor.  It was cute and harmless, and I was happy they were not pulling clothing off the racks, screaming, or begging for anything.   The germ factor was slightly disturbing.  However, I truly try to be pretty hands off with my kids when it comes to germs.  If I got on them for every germ they touched, it would be necessary to place them in a gigantic bubble that would protect them as they traveled through life.

Continue reading →

My Top 3s…

~ Jenni at 100 Cups of Coffee ~ Leave a comment

If word documents were paper I would probably have over 50 pages of half written blogs, scribbles, and ideas that have been bouncing around in my head!   Instead they are all condensed on my computer.   The pages are filled with questions for women…thoughts on wellness and body image.  There are words of encouragement and humor written to mothers.  There are titles like:  Women: Best Friend or Worst Enemy?  Or there is,  Licking Mirrors…yes, this is a reference to my son licking the dressing room mirror at Old Navy.  My favorite and most relevant title is Lies Women Believe, but all of these in their raw state, only make sense to me.  

In the meantime I thought I would keep it LIGHT, FLUFFY and PRACTICAL…

Today on Wellness Wednesday I wanted to share my Top 3s:

My top 3 recommendations for great exercise resources, 3 great reads on nutrition, and my 3 favorite blog sites to find awesome recipes!

EXERCISE
1.  The New Rules of Lifting for Women (Schuler)…
     (and if you have already read this)   The New Rules of Lifting for Abs

2.  The Body Fat Solution  (Venuto)

3.  Cardio Strength Training  (Dos Remedios)

NUTRITION
1.  The China Study  (Campbell).
      and if you have read this (or don’t want to read it)… Forks Over Knives (Stone)

2.  Food Rules  (Polan)

3.  The Eat Clean Diet (Tusca Reno)

NUTRITION BLOGS with RECIPES


1.  http://www.thegraciouspantry.com/     (One of my favs!)

2.  http://peasandthankyou.com/    (I will be ordering her book!)

3.  http://rawkstarlivingfoods.com/  
    (watch the video starring our very own P.O.W.E.R. girl Holly Bennett on NBC’s Carolina Today!)

Have a wonderfully well Wednesday!


Blessings!


Jenni

Pounds of Laundry, Poop Stains and Perfection…

~ Jenni at 100 Cups of Coffee ~ Leave a comment

No one who knows me well will tell you that my greatest gift is tidiness.  After several years of raising two babies 17 months apart, I stumbled across this quote:
“Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the walk before the snow has stopped falling.” Phyllis Diller
 A dear friend of mine just had a baby and she said their laundry baskets have been converted in to their “dresser drawers”.  I can relate!   This quote was freeing and I tried to let its truth wash over me daily.  I battled the internal conflict of trying to keep everything perfect around me and tackle the overwhelming tasks before me. 
Janine and I recently had a great conversation that led to the idea of this blog.  She explained that last week her pod girls had to use the restroom and along the way, they had to pass by her laundry room.   It was laundry day and her boys had piled up their laundry all down the stairs and dirty clothes were billowing out of the laundry room spilling on to the hallway floor.   Apparently women were practically stepping over the piles to get to her facilities!  Upon arrival to the restroom they were greeted by poop stains in the toilet.  I am certain that during my son’s potty training stages, my pod girls were met with unflushed toilets, an abandoned pull up, or possibly even spillage on to the floor from a missed attempt.   They also have walked in to my kitchen following our family dinner and have seen dirty dishes on the table along with piles of bills and other stacks of  “precious school memorabilia” that no one wants to part with!   My night pod is almost always greeted by a pantless 2 year old, as my Joshua has not figured out how to pull his pants back up after going potty.  I used to apologize for this—but now I know that it is a season…the dishes always get done, the memorabilia gets filed, and my boy will learn to wear pants (hopefully before college)!
Janine and I chatted about the implications of our homes and families’ on “display” and the fact that it is quite freeing not only to us, but probably to our clients to see that we are HUMAN.  We live normal lives and we are doing our best to delicately balance family, work, our health, and our spiritual lives.  In balancing these precious legs of our stool*, priorities shift.  If we held to the desire to keep the perfect house, have perfectly dressed (and behaved) children, maintain the body of our 19 year old selves, prepare healthy gourmet meals each night, keep the corners dusted, and the toilets poop-stain-free, we would be trying to keep up a persona that is not humanly possible.  It is fiction.
Today my encouragement is this…extend yourself some grace.  Steer clear of perfection.  Take care of the essentials.  Then, stop and read a book with your child.   Go play tag, shoot a few hoops, look in to their eyes and tell them you love them!  Put down the broom, dust pan, or spatula and go for a run or a swim.   At the end of the day, ask your spouse how their day was and then listen…really listen.  Leave work on time or a few minutes early, call a friend and go grab coffee.  Read a book, journal or pray.  As you exchange a “perfect life” for a more balanced stool*, embrace the pounds of laundry and the poop stains in the potty…they are probably signs of a life being well lived.
*The 4 stool legs spoken of in our studios are family, work, wellness/exercise, and our spiritual/quiet reflective life.

The Climb…

~ Jenni at 100 Cups of Coffee ~ 3 Comments

I spent one month of my life with Cabell Sweeney.  We were on the Ropes and Rappel crew in 1997 at Frontier Ranch, a Young Life camp in the mountains of Colorado.   When I met her I was struck by her big smile and her passionate heart.  Cabell has more passion in her big toe than most people muster in a lifetime!  Cabell and I immediately became fast friends and one of our connections was our “sweet boyfriends” back home whom we would write and share “love stories”.   Cabell was crazy about Mike and wrote him faithfully all month long.  Boyfriends aside, we also spent a tremendous amount of time together as we worked long hours either climbing the mountain to belay down cabins of kids each day; or we would be sending them through a high ropes course ensuring that they both conquer their fears and have the best week of their lives!   We worked together, ate together, laughed together, and worshiped together.  (I always think of Cabell as we sang almost daily “I lift my eyes up…up to the mountains…where does my help come from?  My help comes from you…Maker of heaven…Creator of this earth.”  Psalm 121.)  I think our work on the mountain and the huge ascent and decent we made daily brought this song to life even more than it would have had we worked in the bakery.   Some days I needed all the help I could get to climb that mountain…again!   We laughed a lot and shared funny stories about campers, but most of all we shared a passion for high school kids and our desire for them to have the best week of their lives and hopefully get a glimpse of Heaven on earth…we hoped they’d meet their Maker. 


Cabell and I both married the boys that we loved and our stories seemed to be intertwined through the years as we both served on Young Life staff (Chris and I in NC and she and Mike in GA).  I even had the gift of being Head Leaders with Sweeney (his beloved nickname) for a month at a camp in Georgia and I learned then why she loved him so!   All of this to say–it was a tragic day when I learned of his Stage 4 Melanoma cancer and that he was fighting for his life.  Cabell and Mike’s story has been documented beautifully in her blogs.  (http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/mikesweeney)  They are filled with so much wisdom, so much truth…and most of all Cabell is REAL.   They tell a beautiful love story of Cabell and Mike.  They tell a beautiful love story of a Heavenly Father and two precious children.  They speak of heartache and pain in an unapologetic way.   They speak of faith and hope where most would find none.  They speak of God’s goodness no matter what.  


Cabell’s most recent entry impacted me profoundly.   I cannot help but think of the mountains and think of Cabell.  I really rarely think of Young Life camp without a thought of Cabell.  So to read this melted my heart and I can imagine each step of the climb that day…



written by Cabell Sweeney

I just spent several weeks working at a Young Life camp in North Carolina called Windy Gap. It was a rich time for me, I felt valued and affirmed- it was good for my soul. I am still “unpacking” all that God taught me. The following isn’t something He necessarily taught me, maybe more made me aware of. Or grateful for… deeply grateful for…
Each week every high school kid and leader would head out of camp to hike to the top of a nearby mountain. It was an invigorating hike- not too overwhelming. The group would start out strong but inevitability there would be campers who fell to the back, struggled to keep up and felt discouraged quickly. I would hang toward the end to walk with these campers and encourage them to not give up. I got to spend several hours with a handful of high school kids and we had significant conversations. One week in particular God gave me the sweetest picture of friendship- specifically of my friends, on the way up the mountain. In tears, I shared this vision with “K”, the girl I was walking with that day. She didn’t really know what to do with it all at first, but I have found if I act like it is perfectly normal to cry and talk about your heart and your dead husband and your God then other people think it must be normal too. Because… they don’t know any different, and who is really going to challenge me on this? Now I will share it with you. You too, can act like it is totally normal.
So my friend “K” fell behind and wanted to quit within the first half hour of the hike. I just took a deep breath and thought, Ok, sorta early for the You can’t quit! talk, but alright, here we go. So I gave her the You will be so proud of yourself when you get to the top. Don’t you want to accomplish something you never have before? Don’t you want to exceed even your own expectations? Don’t you want to have this day to look back on and realize you CAN do something you never thought you could do? talk.  To which she replied, with extreme attitude I might add, “No, I don’t. I want to quit. I don’t care about any of that crap you just said. My body hurts, I can’t do it and I’m quitting.”   I began scrambling, thinking, Alright, I’ll have to step it up and play the God card. I continued, “Well, maybe you are right. Maybe you don’t have it in you to climb this mountain. But God is bigger than you think. And you can do all things through Christ who gives you strength. God will beam with pride when you allow Him to get you to the top of this mountain.” To which “K” replies, “I thought God loved me no matter what. He’s not going to love me less if I quit.” My thought at that point was, DANG CABELL, you have met your match. Kinda sassy, kinda smart and not easily swayed.
I was forced to play the “card” I only like to play as a last, last resort- the card of emotional manipulation. I explained to “K” that my husband, Sweeney died of cancer over a year ago and there were many days when I thought, I simply cannot do this. My body hurts. My heart hurts. I don’t have it in me. I have to quit. But then my friends would come alongside me and say, “Maybe you are right. You cannot do this alone. But God is bigger than you think. His Holy Spirit is alive in you. And you can do all things through Christ who gives you strength.” I asked her if I could hold her hand as we walked. She said yes. Then I explained what it meant to have a friend walk beside you up a mountain. I asked if I could take her water bottle and her bag to lighten her load. She said yes. Then I explained to her what it meant to have a friend carry your burden. For some stretches, I would run a little ahead and then stop and encourage “K” to just make it to me- only focus on getting to me. Then I explained what it meant to have a friend “believe” something for you until you could “get there” for yourself. At times, on steep inclines “K” simply couldn’t find the strength to keep walking. I stepped behind her, put my hands on her back and literally pushed her forward until she regained strength. I explained what it meant to have a friend come behind you and push you forward with scripture and prayer and love.  And then “K” asked about these friends of mine who walked with me up the mountain of the last few years, she really wanted to know about them. So I spent a good stretch of trail telling her about my closest friends. She asked names and details and I gushed. When the two of us finally reached the top, I was overwhelmed by the picture of my life and my dearest friends that God had shown to me in the climb.
On the way up “K” shared a lot about how difficult her home life is. Stories that are dark and heart breaking. Almost too heavy to bear. She doesn’t have friends like I do. Her family doesn’t love her the way mine loves me. Much of her climb is lonely and painful. “K” gave her life to Christ while she was at camp that week. She and I hugged before she got on her bus to head home; she had a new Bible tucked under her arm. She said it was unlikely that her home life would magically change. I nodded in agreed empathy. Yet we both decided hope could be found in the fact that she would never, ever have to “climb” alone again. “K” could find strength in Jesus’ words, “In this world you will have trouble but take heart, I have overcome the world.” John 16:33 Then, as if on cue to end a novel with the perfect sentiment and sentence lingering in the air, she said, “And someone once told me – God is bigger than you think.”


Love the Skin You’re In

~ Jenni at 100 Cups of Coffee ~ 1 Comment
Wellness Wednesday encourages you to… 
Love The Skin You’re In

Six women.  A barrage of squats, burpees, and lunges have led to sweat…and lots of it.  The scene is my studio and the night is like any typical Monday or Wednesday at 7pm.   The same 6 women come through my door for training…some tired from a long day of work, others are excited about the challenge ahead, and some are a little nervous as each pod night looks and feels a little different..  This night is no different than the rest…except that my A.C. is on the fritz.  The room is considerably warmer.  The 90 degree weather outside and the physical activity inside is producing quite a sauna effect.
“It’s too hot in here, Jenni!!” they complained.  I explained that sweat is good for the body to release toxins, but the positive spin on the situation was not appreciated. Then it happened.  Patty, my 59 year old client who trains with a bunch of 20 and 30 year old women, tucked her shirt into her bra.   Such a simple solution to the heat, but it turned out to be one of the most profound actions that has occurred in my studio to date.   I smiled and announced to the room, “Yep—Patty is getting naked!”  The next thing I know one by one the shirts came off.  One by one, woman after woman was working out in her sports bra.   I have women of all different ages, shapes and sizes.  There was no concern for the 6’ x 10’ mirrors that surrounded them.  There was no concern for the fact that some of the bellies had not seen the sun in many years.   All that mattered is that they were in a safe place with other women who were working toward a common goal: to become healthier stronger versions of themselves. 
The moment stopped me in my tracks.  I have trained several hundred classes and pods before—but never before had the environment and the situation been “just right” that 4 of the 6 women in the room felt comfortable enough to take their shirts off and work hard.  This level of vulnerability was beautiful.  
In this moment a statement was being made:  I am comfortable in my own skin.  I am comfortable in this place and with these people, and I love myself and my body, imperfections and all.  I don’t need to wait until I am a size 2 or at an optimal body composition for someone to see my belly button.  They listened to an inner voice that said, “it’s hot in here—if I were by myself I would probably take off my shirt and wear my bra—I don’t care who is watching, I am comfortable right here and right now—it’s hot–the shirt’s coming off!”  
Janine and I dream that women will find this type of security and comfort in and outside of our studios.   I think it is only here that a woman will then be able to continue to move through transitions with her body and her life.  If we cannot accept who we are today, but instead constantly hate the place where we are, we have not surrendered to the process.   And get this: I believe Life IS the process.   If we spend countless hours worrying, comparing, and wishing things to be different, then we are wasting precious life moments.  Those same moments can be spent in acceptance of who we are now and excited about where we are headed in the future!   We must first accept and love ourselves right where we are, knowing that we will NEVER be perfect.  Yep I said it, and let me repeat it:  we will never be perfect. 
Just when we think we have the perfect skin…wrinkles start to appear.
Just when we think we have the perfect jean size…skinny jeans come in style.
Just when we think we have the perfect smile…the dentist suggests veneers.
Just when we think we have the perfect chest…gravity takes the twins down south!
Just when we think we have the perfect (fill in the blank)…this world distracts us from a place of contentment and encourages us to strive for something different.  
We must be thankful for a body that moves freely.  For legs that are able to run and jump.  For arms that can lift and hold.  For a brain that brilliantly tells our body where and how to move in perfect unison.  We must be thankful for the opportunity to wake up and move each day.  To feel sore!   We must be thankful for a body that can run, kick, jump, or swim.  For a body that can embrace those we love, and playfully lift, carry and race our children at the park.   We must be thankful for the curves (or lack of them) that make us uniquely individual and make us who we are.    Internal and external transformation falls upon those who actually are thankful for the skin they are in—right now.   
Those same women in my little “sauna” that night were not looking around sizing one another up.  They were not concerned with how their clothes fit, how so and so’s squat looked, or whether or not they were sweatier than the rest of the women in the room.  They were fully focused on the task at hand.  There were no comparisons.  That is a rule in P.O.W.E.R. studios…and most of the time the rules are respected.  In comparison there is self-loathing, or wishing, or wanting, and it is toxic.  Each journey looks different. We must embrace the journey that we are on.    It will steal our joy to constantly be comparing ourselves to others.   The sooner we can keep our eyes fixed on the task at hand and the journey WE are on, the sooner that we can stop trying to keep up with the “Mrs. Jones’ body, physique, jean size or convertible for that matter”!
When we strive for the body of someone else…and start chopping women in to pieces, “I would like her Kelly’s legs, Amy’s arms, and Abbie’s stomach… we are creating a completely unrealistic version of ourselves..    Bodies are shaped differently…they (even when lean) look VERY different.  If my sweet Patty was constantly looking at the 20 year old who is a size 0 and wishing she could be in her skin…with everything perky and in place, she would leave each week deflated and beating herself up for the ways she is constantly coming up short.  She would miss the absolute blessing of the journey she is currently on.  A journey that is committed to building strong bones and beating osteopenia without medication.  In the process she has become stronger than she has ever been in her lifetime.  She is replacing fat with muscle, her body continues to transform to a healthier, stronger, leaner version of Patty.  I could not be more proud of this woman as she is a picture of loving the skin that she is in and embracing each step of the journey. 
Those precious six women taught me a powerful lesson that night.  One that is worth sharing with others.   Change starts from the inside out.  Change starts with vulnerability. Change starts when we feel safe.  Change starts when we stop comparing ourselves to others.  Change starts when we love ourselves right where we are.  Change starts when we recognize simply—“it’s hot and I don’t care who’s looking…I don’t care what shape or size I am…I am taking off my shirt.”  Thank you night pod for inspiring women and me…for challenging others to look at the larger picture of this life and say—I am ready to embrace the skin I am in! 

Monday Mommy Confessions: Meal Madness

~ Jenni at 100 Cups of Coffee ~ 2 Comments
I am not sure if the gag reflex is hereditary…but if it is, then I have passed this lovely involuntary “gift” to my children.  Some people pass along straight teeth, shiny hair, or mathematical intelligence.  Mine get the gag reflex?!   Smells, a gross story, and certainly a strange tasting food or texture can easily send me in to the gag reflex.  Dehn Fung was my childhood friend from Vietnam.  We had their family over often for dinner.   To repay the favor, her father prepared a family delicacy:  egg rolls made of squid.

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Jump Ship

~ Jenni at 100 Cups of Coffee ~ 1 Comment

I think I mentioned I am going to try to insert a “Mommy Confessions Monday” every couple of Mondays.  I also have been tossing around and jotting down notes for a “Wellness Wednesday”!  So be on the lookout for more thoughts on Mommy madness on Mondays and health and wellness on Wednesdays!   


JUMP SHIP
Seven days and seven nights.  A SUPER long and super fantastic family vacation.  I was looking most forward to quality family time with no cooking and no clean up.   Mission accomplished.  I “cook” or prepare 4 to 6 dinners a week for myself and my family as well as mini meals, healthy snacks, and super intentional breakfasts and lunches.  I spend many Saturdays prepping for the next week by freezing, chopping or shopping to have healthy options even on nights when I work.   Occasionally we eat out, but the majority of meals we eat in…and so the thought of not having to cook and clean up after 30-35 snacks and meals sounded pretty fabulous!  And it WAS!  I loved walking to the buffet  or the main dinning room knowing that I would have wonderful servers taking our orders and then taking our dishes away.  

The boat was filled with food. Knowing that our family has been trying to make different choices and options I was so pleased with all that there was to eat:  oatmeal, and whole wheat toast for breakfast, stir fry and salad bar for lunch, and a sushi bar every night.  There was a fish and vegetarian meal option for the formal dinners.    The fruit and vegetables were beautiful. The options were endless! 

The boat was also filled with over indulgence.  Because it was available 24 hours a day, food portions were out of control.  The comments that I overheard concerning food at times saddened and often angered me.  There were children under the age of 10 over 100lbs overweight.  Those same children were being served 2 and 3 hamburgers, fries, and several desserts.  My children (if they ordered off the kids menu) were automatically given french fries or chips as their “side”. 

My kids quickly learned that they had choices on the boat.  They were given the choice to eat sugars in the morning immediately once they got up…or they could save their sugar intake for a special dessert treat.  (Great lesson.)   Since they understand simple math we showed them how to read the chocolate milk label explaining that it had 24g of sugar in one serving, and fruit loops had 12g in one small single serving.  We explained that they could choose Cheerios that had less than 1g of sugar, or they could choose the chocolate milk…but that would mean no ice cream sundae or special cake at dinner.  It was a quick and simple lesson.  They were reading the back of every box.  May be TMI but I am going to share anyway!  By day 2 my kids were not as “regular” as they are at home.  We eat a lot of fiber at home!  So they were uncomfortable and we quickly decided as a family to up our fiber in-take.  Back to the boxes.  We read the back and realized that Special K had no significant fiber and really most of the cereals didn’t.  So we switched to oatmeal and fruit for breakfast and quickly found everything in good working order.  The kids were happy to make these switches and the education and explanation was helpful.  I LOVED how they were reading the nutritional information on everything they were putting in their little bodies!   To them it was about making a great choice and they were happy after dinner to enjoy a MUCH more delicious melting cake than several sweet sugary cereals and snacks throughout the day!   

Food is personal.  I overheard a young couple discuss the meal they were about to eat.  The man expressed that he was tired of eating hamburgers and hotdogs as apparently they kept missing the main meal times for lunch and so they “had” to eat from the grill.  The girl who was very young and several hundred pounds overweight said, “I never get sick of hamburgers and hotdogs.”  My heart was sad.  Deep down I knew that it was  probably true.  But I also knew it was very likely that she was sick of being uncomfortable in her own skin.  She was sick of the looks and sick of the stares. She was sick or feeling the way she felt most days.  Food and the way she felt personally about food (and a myriad of other reasons) had shackled her to the body she was in…and it broke my heart. 
   
On one of the last days I was on the cruise there was a free seminar that was offered to the patrons of the boat:
“Can’t bear the thought of giving up dessert?  Got a weakness for pizza?  Not to worry.  Let our fitness instructors show you how to lose weight and still enjoy the foods you love.”  
SERIOUSLY?   The seminar was offered at 11am and I read this advertisement at 2pm or you can BET I would have attended and given the entire group a piece of my red-headed mind!   We are bombarded with lies.   We are told that it is EASY to lose weight…and specifically fat.   We are told that we can work out minimally and achieve maximum results. 

In this life the road less traveled is FAR from easy.  We were never promised an easy life or easy road.  We were never promised a carefree easy to maintain body that burns calories like a raging forest fire.  We were given a body to care for.  We were given a mind to make wise choices.  We were given taste buds (yes) but to enjoy the foods that God created for us to enjoy…not the crazy out of control madness that we pretend is “food”…what is a Dorito or a Peep anyway?    90% of the options that were offered on the boat to “fuel” our bodies were JUNK.  99% of the people were consuming them happily.  Some had guilt attached, many had emotion attached, many were confused and trying to eat well, but were confused about what actually is healthy, and some were ignorant of the fact that the fuel they were putting in their bodies was actually just rubbish.

Food is a choice.  Food is personal.  Food is fuel.  We have a personal choice to fuel our body with healthy whole foods that give us energy and that move our “system” the way it is supposed to move.  Whole foods and specifically vegetables provide a pharmacy of goodness and can even heal our bodies.   In light of what I saw and experienced, I realized that this cruise highlighted a very real and deadly epidemic that we face.  It is an appetite for something that was never intended to fuel our bodies.   To quote my husband, “we have become a slave to our tastebuds”…and that slavery is diminishing our quality of life.   It is a pride that says, “Why can’t I eat that?  I refuse to be deprived of my very right to put whatever I want in to my body whenever I want to put it there! After all, it is my body, it tastes good and makes me feel good…at least temporarily.”  
We have that right because we are given CHOICES.   If I were God and I knew all that I know in my finite mind about food and nutrition I can tell you right now I would not be so generous.   I would be certain that my creation would be eating GOOD food, food that was making them healthy and not sick.   Food that made their bodies strong and not fat.  (Food that I intended for them to eat, because I, being God created it that way, and I know what is best!)   But I am not God…and He is much more gracious than me. Therefore we have Carnival Cruises filled with more food options than you can imagine and most folks that are choosing to eat 2 to 3 hamburgers in one sitting as well as every buffet dessert option on the bar.  The volume of calories consumed in the one week alone was astronomical and I am not even considering alcohol in the equation. 

Good news!  The boat has a gym.  A gym with trainers who teach seminars about how folks can eat what they want and still lose weight!  A gym that was occupied by 5-15 people (at the most) when I was there…and a gym that took up very little space compared to the volume of people on the ship!  


Whew!   I know what you are thinking!  Get her off that ship and off her soap box!  

 Friends!  Unlike the trainers on the ship…I CARE about my friends and family.  I care about my clients.  I care about the young 20 something young woman who was 200lbs over”fat”, and the sweet little boy with red hair and freckles who had trouble walking around the ship due to the excess amount of weight on his precious 10 year old body!    I care that they know truth.  I care less about people being offended and more about their future well-being and life long health and wellness.  

My personal journey in nutritional changes did not occur until just a few years ago.  I know if I had read a blog like this a few years ago I would have quickly exited the site and made a mental note to never read the “Wellness Wednesdays” section of the blog!  Having said this, I started small.  We made simple small changes as a family.  So hear me say loud and clear…if you are fueling your body with things that are not real food…if you are skipping breakfast…if you are only eating 3 small meals a day…if you are eating 3 large meals a day…if you are only eating a small percentage of your daily fruit and vegetables…if you are eating food with more than 10-15 ingredients or ingredients you can’t pronounce…if you are not drinking water…if you are eating a lot of simple carbs and processed foods…if you eat out more than you eat in…then PLEASE…

Jump ship.  Get off at the next port.   Start to make small changes…read labels not the front of the box but the back of the box…eat fresh produce and lots of it…shop at a famrers market or the peripheries of the grocery store…eat breakfast…eat a small mini meal/snack every 4 hours…limit fast food…don’t drink your calories (i.e. soda, juice), drink LOTS of water…start to “cook in” more than eating out…take an hour or two and watch Food Inc. or grab a copy of The China Study.   Start by doing one or two SMALL THINGS.  


Our cruise was wonderful for our family and was a much needed cooking break for me.  I treasured every morsel I put in my mouth.  I treasured every waiter who took my plates away.   I would not trade the experience and was thankful for the opportunity for my awareness to be raised.  Now it is my turn to raise YOUR awareness.   Consider making a small dietary change or two.  AND here is my SHAMELESS PLUG:   Go check out FORKS OVER KNIVES  (http://forksoverknives.com/)  Join me this weekend on Saturday night as we view the Raleigh Premiere of Forks Over Knives!   (Wakefield 12)   It just might give you the courage you need to JUMP SHIP!