~ Jenni at 100 Cups of Coffee ~ 1 Comment
The Wind
God speaks to me at the beach.  Through the waves, the wind, the soft sand and sun.  I feel most alive while pounding out my worries as I walk along the coastline.  Today was like no other.  I started my walk with no particular destination and many thoughts on my mind that I hoped to sort out along my journey.  The sun was bright and the temperature was in the mid-eighties just a lovely way to end my trip!  Once I got to the shore I realized that the wind was much stronger than I had realized.  (No wonder no one was on the beach!)  Knowing that this would be my last opportunity for a walk before we left for home I ventured out.  I chose to walk against the wind at first.  This proved incredibly difficult.  The waves were masterful and cheered me on with their deep roars and crashing tumbles.  But the sand was fighting me every step of the way, the wind blew and sent stinging sand against my legs.  It was all I could do to put one foot in front of the other.  Several times I thought, “I just need to turn around and go home!”  I knew though, that the longer I trudged the longer the joureny home would be with the wind against my back back, there I would not be fighting with the wind and the sand.  Finally when I could not take any more I turned around.  Amazingly, my walk back was a totally different experience.  Almost immediately I began to run.  The wind was just so powerful it was practically carrying me and moving me forward.  I had no reason to run.  I don’t mind running but hadn’t planned on running home, but unless I wanted to “fight” with the wind it just appeared to be the best option.  So I ran.  While running I was struck with a very powerful thought.  God has been teaching me about his will over my life and about his Spirit’s leading.  God impressed upon my heart, “See this is what it is like to be in step with my Spirit.  I am propelling you forward.  I am giving you the strength and the power.  Before it was your own strength that was taking you on your journey…on the way home I was giving you the energy and power to do it.”  There was such freedom and joy in my journey home.  Even though I was doing a “harder task” of running…it was simpler and I got home faster and I enjoyed the run much more.  It made me realize how important it is to be “in step” with God’s spirit and how He wants to guide and direct us. 
What does it look like to daily be “in step” with the Spirit?   So often I walk through life with sand stinging my eyes, hair flying everywhere, head down and walking a road that I was not intended to walk.  A simple change of my direction absolutely changes my perspective.  I feel light, free, and propelled by something far more powerful than my own person.   I pray that if you are feel the intensity of great G force winds that you would make a shift.  Go to the author of your life and ask Him to direct.  Let him carry you far beyond where you thought you might go on your own strength.   Thankfully there were no bumps and bruises incurred on my journey—just a gracious God who was waiting for me to make a shift and direction change.  

Wherever you on this journey of life know that you are loved.  The conversations of the Spirit and being “in step” can be confusing and overwhelming.  In the end, know that your Creator cares.  

The Great Easter Search…

~ Jenni at 100 Cups of Coffee ~ Leave a comment
“On your mark, get set, go!” 
Twenty energetic children raced around the lawn scattered with bright, colorful Easter Eggs.  Aliene and Jim Thompson know the wonder and delight of a great search.  So, this past Easter Sunday they carefully distributed over 2000 eggs throughout their yard. Some were strategically hidden in tree limbs or under rocks; others were left in the grass to be tripped over by my 18-month-old son.
Just before the hunt began, my 4 year-old son looked at me, then looked at the big boys and girls who had clearly done this type of thing before, and cried,  “Mommy, will you help me? I am scared, I cannot do this on my own!”  Knowing that the yard was full of abundant treasures for him to discover, I lovingly told him, “I know you can do this buddy, I will hold your hand, but you can do this, go out there and try!”  What a tremendous pleasure it was to watch my child find egg after egg all by himself.  My husband and I stopped and celebrated with him at each new discovery.  Driving home I reflected on the smiles, and squeals of joy.  I knew it would be an Easter that we would not soon forget! 
Aliene Thompson is a dear friend of mine and the founder of RadicallyO Ministries.  (http://www.radicallyo.com/)  Her studies are focused on encouraging women to find truth on their own.  To seek Him and find Him.   Whether you have been going to church all your life and reading the Bible for years, or whether you don’t own a Bible and have never prayed before…I believe that God has something to say to each of us.  Personally.  I believe that there are many treasures waiting for us to discover in God’s Word.
            
For some, this is a sweet reminder, for others it seems far-fetched, but I believe that God has something to say to each of us personally.  Please hear me say, no matter where you are in life, God loves you and you are worthy of sitting at His feet and allowing your Heavenly Father to minister to your soul.
I could have stolen from my son that day.  I could have filled his basket myself.  I could have opened the treasures that he was intended to open.  But where would the adventure be?  Would he ever learn how to seek on his own?  The following Easter would he even know what to do with a lawn full of brightly decorated eggs?  Instead, the adventure was his, the learning was his, and the joy of finding was his. 
This Easter morning I pray that God will meet you wherever you are.  If your marriage is rocky or broken (and hence you are feeling broken), if you are angry, stressed, discouraged, depressed, overwhelmed, exhausted, tired of running (haha this is not a trainer’s joke), tired of living, tired for pretending, or just ready for a fresh perspective…may you SEEK AND FIND.   I pray that the Holy Spirit will guide and direct you every step of the way.  Whether you open your Bible or call a girlfriend who does; whether you go online and check out Radically O, or facebook message me and ask where to get started…or whether you just shoot up a simple prayer:  “God help!”  He knows you, loves you, and will hear your cry.  God has great things to say, He loves you and is excited for your next courageous step in the journey.  There is a beautiful colorful world filled with hope and it starts with a simple step, a cry, a prayer, a call, a verse…
On your mark, get set, go… 

My Child Will Never

~ Jenni at 100 Cups of Coffee ~ 4 Comments
 This was my first mommy blog post…thought it would be worth revisiting.  My children have aged since this blog…but the Cockerham chaos continues.  My friend Nicole says in her super cute southern voice she has eaten a lot of crow over the past few years.  A southern expression for all those that have said, “My Child Will Never”…and then they did indeed do x, y or z–you just bellied up to a big plate of plate of crow.  I daily pull out my fork…and for those of you who have eaten your fair share of crow…OR make mental statements about what your future children will or won’t do…this is for you!
As I am sitting down to write…I realized that my boys are outside.  (I mean I knew it…I sent them out on the back porch to eat their snack.)  They are eating outside partly because it is a BEAUTIFUL day and partly because I don’t want to pick up the crumbs that will cover my kitchen floor after they are finished!  My 2.5 year old is proudly wearing moose slippers…and to me it was not worth the argument to get him to put on tennis shoes.  His right cheek is covered in some sort of brown smudge.  It is actually left over from his lunch.  I almost always get his face and hands wiped after lunch.  But occasionally my 3rd is off and running before I realize that his face needs to be wiped!  Currently I have the computer on my lap and he is perfectly content with his face this way…I will wipe it when I have completed this thought.  In the process of writing the past 8 sentences my boys have come inside and my two year old has taken off his shirt, jeans, underwear and socks.  He has striped down to buck nakedness and he is twirling circles in the middle of the living room floor.  My 4 year old is shirtless so I think he got the idea from his big brother.  The 4 year old is jumping from a kitchen chair on to the floor.  He is not hurting anyone and is actually getting a lot of energy out.  My 4 year old is fearless and an incredible climber.  At gymnastics he shimmies up the 15 foot gigantic rope like a monkey.  Just this past weekend he was scolded by a by-stander for running around a 3 foot concrete fountain.  I was standing right there and it was really bothering her that he was running.  I am very hands off when it come to physical feats and attempts that my kids make.  My 4 year old is very athletic and sure-footed.  I try to weigh the risks and see whether the risk of him getting hurt is greater than the risk of stifling him truly expressing his BOYNESS.  Boys need to play—HARD.  My sweet little girl would be SO happy just coloring, constructing crafts and collecting flowers while skipping around the yard.  My boys are built differently.  They long to WRESTLE, CLIMB and JUMP.  In the winter they get a little stir crazy…I see my boys get a “look” in their eyes and the look truly shows the difference in design.  I recently read that testosterone levels double in boys between ages 3 and 4.  This does seem to explain why my daughter is content reading a book and playing with dolls, while within the same time frame my boys have steam coming from their ears and start pushing pillows off the couch and swinging fake “swords” (i.e. wooden drumsticks).   We have an open floor plan downstairs and often on those cold winter days I would tell all the kids before they watch a show or did much of anything they must run 10 times around the “circle.”  So from kitchen to living room, to play room to hallway they would run…me counting or running with them depending on the day.  On a long cold winter day we would complete 50 “laps” as it was so appropriate to let them move!   Now 26 sentences in, the chair has now been turned over and they are contorting like snakes through the rungs, weaving in and out of the legs.   For those who were concerned about my son’s face being wiped…good news…he was sadly just sent to timeout for “throwing” the chair…(yes, he is freakishly strong)…and so after some discipline he emerged with a good attitude and a clean face. 
I am convinced that pre-children if you told me this was going to be my first blog on mothering I would have told you that you had lost your mind.  MY children would never…have a dirty face, play outside in slippers, jump off of furniture, run around naked, throw chairs, fill in the blank.  For those women who have not had children yet…be careful what you vow your child will or will not do.  I also am certain that there are mothers who are reading this whose hair is standing on the back of their necks and they are very uncomfortable with all that I shared.  I share it because for too long I have been shackled to a lie.  I believed that I was a “bad mom.”  The belief started very quickly after my daughter was born and it stayed with me for about 3 years of parenting.  I still have a nagging thought after receiving a nasty “you’re a bad mom look” from a judgmental bystander; or allow my mind to roll over a comment made that was intended to “sting” about my parenting.  In that moment I become seized with shame or guilt.  But it is fleeting…and for the most part…I am free.  I don’t need to defend or explain all of my choices and the reasons for why I do what I do.  I love my kids like crazy, invest in their precious little lives daily and PRAY fervently for God to help fill in the places where I mess up or have in some way “messed them up.”   Freedom brings a lot of wonderful things and mostly it provides JOY and LIBERTY as a mom.  It brings about a LONGING for other moms to know and feel the same.  I am passionate about young sweet moms or future moms finding freedom and grace so that they don’t have to live with the shame or guilt that I lived with for too may years!  
Let me end in this way:  No matter how differently you thought you were going to do it,  no matter what your mother, neighbor or your girlfriend said or implied, no matter how many accidents your child had this morning while potty training, please hear me say…
YOU ARE A GREAT MOM.  
May You Be a Blessing and May You Be Blessed,
Jenni

 

Hold On and ENJOY the Ride!

~ Jenni at 100 Cups of Coffee ~ 4 Comments

At Family Camp this past weekend I watched a clip I had seen many times before, but this time I saw it from a new perspective.  I had heard the story of Dick Hoyt and his son Rick, who was born with his umbilical cord wrapped around his neck and therefore had suffered severe brain damage and was told he would never have a normal life.   I had heard that his family was committed to give him a life that was filled with normalcy and love.   I had heard of Rick’s request for an opportunity to go and complete a 5k race…and that when he did this, he, for the first time “did not feel disabled”.  I had seen the images on utube and even heard them referenced across the nightly news.  Tonight though, I watched with new eyes the journey that this man began with his son 40 some years ago.  

What I had not known was that his father on their first 5k race ran and pushed his son in a wheelchair the entire way.  (What an image!)  What I had not known was that his father was a self proclaimed “porker” and had suffered from heart disease and was thrilled to simply cross the finish line and had planned to never attempt another race!
I watched with fresh eyes and I would like to encourage you to do the same.   Unless you have seen this video in the last week…please watch again:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xUQeUsqQuVc
This time around…I saw so much more.  As a trainer I saw the absolute magnitude of the task placed in front of the father.  I marveled at his sacrifice and commitment to something that is so physically, mentally, and emotionally grueling.  I now know the sheer volume of hours that were put in to train and the thought and energy that went in to preparing for one simple race—never mind the thousands that they have completed!  The courage, love, commitment, and passion of the father is powerful.  Yet, if I am honest, even though I did not have a clue when it came to the hours and discipline that it took, I did recognize the ultimate love and sacrifice of father to son. 

The part that I missed was the SON.  Rick Hoyt.  Rick Hoyt has a powerful message to women…and to me…and I missed it!   This whole thing started when Rick ASKED.  Rick dared to ask the impossible.  He asked his father to do something that was going to “cost” him something.   It was going to put his father in an inconvenient position.  His father had not always been a super fit dude who ran races…he was a typical overweight dad with heart disease.  Thankfully Rick did not have the filter or “know better”…he simply ASKED.  That “ask” lead to a complete life change for both father and son.
Rick also showed me something far greater…he was not apologetic.  Watching the father pulling his son through the water on that raft, watching him CARRY his son in the transitions, and then watching the father finish the race exhausted with nothing left is a physical marvel.  Rick at the end of the race is embracing every moment, his smile is contagious, his joy is obvious.  He was not at the end of the race leaning back toward his dad apologizing for the huge sacrifices that he made on his behalf to carry him through the race.  There was not an ounce of guilt or shame…he was thrilled and elated to be served and loved so unconditionally!  
Great, all interesting observations Jenni, but why are you so intrigued?!  I have lessons to learn from Rick Hoyt!  I don’t ask.  I don’t tell others my greatest desires.   I don’t ask for help along the way.  What Rick found was, that by asking, he gave his father a tremendous gift.  He gave his father a new outlet and way to serve his son.  He gave his father the opportunity to be his hands and feet.  He also gave his father additional years on his life!   His father would have missed a huge life-altering blessing if his son had not ASKED. 
I ran the USMC mud run last fall.  4.2 miles, insane obstacles and a lot of mud.  You race with a team of four…at the end one person is carried on a stretcher 400m.  I was the girl on the stretcher.  It was strange because I felt apologetic about my weight and the fact that they “had” to carry me.  I raced with 3 dudes and if anything they should have been thanking me!  Yet I felt bad knowing all that we had endured together and how exhausted we were; I hated for them to have the burden of carrying me an inch never mind 400m!  I never want to be an imposition.  I never want to be a burden or bother.  I apologize if the person behind me at the grocery store has one less item than me.   I apologize if I have to call a friend for a favor.  I apologize if I am I am in a bad place and others see me cry.  SERIOUSLY???  Does any of this sound familiar or is it just me?  With this fresh look at the father/son love story, Rick Hoyt taught me we don’t have to apologize.  We can actually find joy when someone serves us and we are given the opportunity to be carried.  We can let go of the control long enough to see that ride as a gift!  We can smile, receive the praise, cheers, and simply cross the finish line being carried.  God places people at just the right times in our life to help carry us through the transitions, others who will push us up a hill on a run, or pull us through rough waters.  We can ask them for help…or simply not apologize when they serve us…we humble ourselves to truly receive His best. 
We are so quick to do it on our own.  We try move through life without the help of others.  We want things to look and seem perfect and that we have it all together.  Rick has a secret.  Utter dependency is best.  Asking for help and sharing our dreams and fears may not be safe and may seem scary but what if Rick had NOT told his dad his heart’s desire?  What if he had just continued on content with the stop at the 5k?  He would not have traveled the world.  He would not have felt SO alive.  He would not have given His father the opportunity to love and serve his son.  He also would not have given us such an incredible picture of humility and grace.  I need to take more lessons from Rick Hoyt.  

Blessings,
Jenni  

100 Cups of Coffee – The Genesis

~ Jenni at 100 Cups of Coffee ~ 1 Comment
Just about 15 years ago I was a part of a wonderful ministry called Young Life where I shared my life with teenage girls.  I spent countless hours laughing, doing wild and crazy (not to mention illegal) things like Chinese fire drills with 10 high school freshmen crammed in the backseat of my Toyota Corolla!    

Those same teenagers with whom I shared laughter, tears, and countless memories are the same girls with whom I shared TRUTH.  Truth spoken to a broken heart, a broken family, or a broken dream.  With some I would share the ultimate truth of God’s Redeeming Love.  We would sit over Bojangles sweet tea, walk around the lake, or sip coffee, and I would listen.  Then at just the right moment God would often grace me with a little nugget or small simple truth.  It seemed timely and relevant and I was always relieved, as I recognized it was nothing that I personally had contrived but it was led by His Spirit.  

Over the years I watched these young girls grow up to become beautiful young women.  Women who are smart, successful, real, and full of life.   Some work for corporate America, others for a local church, still others are teachers, many are moms. Women with whom I would LOVE to sit down and grab a cup of coffee.  God has me in a wonderful stage of life.  Life full of laughter, and craziness, but my laughter and craziness are often in response to a small naked two year old wearing a red cowboy hat, not a Chinese fire drill with 10 teenage girls!   

Recently God tugged on my heart…He has prodded me to write.  I laughed, “Really Lord…ME?  I love to write but where is the time?  Most of my writing is personal and ‘for your eyes only.’  Besides, who will read it?”  I went back and questioned, “Are you sure?”  The response was clear…”WRITE.”  I realized that as much as I long to write, I also long to connect with those sweet young women (and women like them.)   I would love to sit down and catch up.  I long to listen.  I long to be a small voice of truth who brings a timely word of encouragement.  

Six and a half years have passed since I spent hours upon hours sharing sweet tea and Starbucks…I have embraced a new journey.  A journey of motherhood.  A journey of play dates and play dough.  On this journey I have relied more than ever on God’s mercy and grace as I fasted from some of my more natural gifts and have learned to let Him humble me as a mother of three.   Even more recently my journey has taken me to places of encouraging women in their physical wellness, helping them to find inner strength.   Through my journey of motherhood and personal training I have also met wonderful women with whom I would love to sit down and share a cup of coffee.   But alas the hours in the day are short and presently devoted to such sacred things as potty training, grocery shopping, preparing pods, (did I mention praying?!) and just trying to keep my head above water.  Each day I pray for a razor sharp vision for exactly how He would have me spend my moments.  Unfortunately, coffee with old friends and new acquaintances fall to the bottom of the priority list.    It is simply not possible, and therefore I am looking forward to sharing 100 Cups of Coffee with whomever would like to show up.  Although I will terribly miss the listening part, I pray that you will be blessed and pray that God will humbly use just some small sentence to strengthen, challenge, and encourage you along the way!


May You Be a Blessing and May You Be Blessed!

Jenni