Moving on,
May You Be a Blessing and May You Be Blessed!
Jenni
Last spring LeAnne inspired me to consider a garden…to allow our family to be a part of the process of plants growing and recognizing that our food does not originate from the grocery store. Both my dad and granddaddy had a garden, and so I was familiar with this custom. But knowing that the Cockerhams have the history of KILLING plants I was a little weary of such an undertaking. Last year our garden constituted of several potted tomato plants and herbs. They lived…and did their best to grow despite our black thumbs.
One of the cooler things that came from our garden was our compost pile. This makeshift pile was actually a random pile in the backyard where Chris normally placed the grass clippings. The compost pile slowly began to cut our waste in half. I was shocked that between recycling and composting we were down to 1 lonely bag of trash per week?!?
Amazingly, this spring a long green vine began to grow from the compost. Then another, and another. Intrigued and inspired by a friends’ story of the “fruit” that grew from their compost–we decided to let it grow.
It is entitled a Halloween Miracle.
(http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/sydneygaylord/journal/2)
Over the past month or so we have realized that we are growing what appears to be some sort of fantastic gourd or maybe even a squash or pumpkin?! Usually plants that grow from the grocery store are “sterile” and do not produce fruit–but very clearly there are some big yellow squash-type-things doing work in our back yard. Even more amazing, is that we had up to 5 “plants” growing at one time. At closer inspection I realized today that only 2 actually had squash-like plants growing from them. (And one was really struggling to survive.) All of the vines made beautiful yellow blooming flowers–but 3 simply had no squash to show for all the fan fare. Though I am an Indiana grown girl whose daddy had the prettiest garden in our midwest neighborhood–I really was clueless as to what to do until it hit me: the other plants had to go!
Could they eventually produce fruit? Maybe. But which ones? And how long would I have to wait? And how much love, water, and sunlight would they be stealing from the 2 plants that were working so hard to make it? It became very clear that the competing plants were just that…competition. They were sharing a small space with fabulously fertile soil (a rare commodity in NC)…and they were just sucking the very life out of the resources of the other plants. I could pour a lot more time and energy in to trying to keep everybody comfortable–with the flowers bright and beautiful and appearing just as healthy as my squash producing plants. But at the end of the day–3 out of my 5 plants were simply sterile.
While attacking those beauties with my shovel–for me hacking apart a living thing is not an easy task–unless it is poison ivy. It was especially bitter since I usually have the blackest thumb on the planet and to hack something beautiful and living knowing that it just might do something cool was simply painful for me…but I digress. As I hacked–it became so very clear–the parallel that I live in my life. I have SOOOOO many things competing for my attention, for my energy, time, resources. I have so many things that I desire to pour in to…that I desire to grow and make beautiful. On the outside it looks pretty good. There is green, there is growth, there are even big bright beautiful yellow flowers that indicate something awesome could happen. Yet…sadly for so many of the things that compete for my attention…like my plants…they are sterile. Most days I live as the hopeful gardener attending to each plant and wishing and hoping for the best…only to neglect the one or two plants that are actually producing fruit…that are alive…growing and going to actually become something amazing.
But…wait for it…what if I kept all 5 plants growing? What if I just kept feeding all 5 plants? Sharing space…sharing soil…sharing all of the resources that I had equally? I am almost certain that I would lose my sensational squash…or at best their growth would become stunted. (I did not major in agriculture at NCSU–but from my backyard degree this appeared to be clear and the inevitable conclusion.)
So God got ahold of me as I shifted the compost and hacked up the other 3 plants. He reminded me of the value of keeping life simple. He reminded me to stop trying to keep all of my “life vines” alive only to forsake the ones that actually bear fruit. I will wait and see what comes of this awesome biology experiment but if no edible fruit is produced I am convinced that there were awesome seeds that were planted in my heart today. The Gardener drew my attention to the other “plants”. He reminded me that even once I hack a few up, others will grow in my garden of life. He showed me that they are not all “weeds” so to speak–terrible evils and obvious predators that only exist to steal my plants’ nutrients. Sometimes they are mistaken beauties or just misdirected efforts. These plants will take root (just the same) and I will have to ask the question of their relevance and watch closely to examine if they just look really pretty or if they are actually bearing fruit. I will make the weighty decision of hacking or watering. Either way–the visual is one that I am so very grateful for as I hope to not water simply to water…but nurture, attend to, and cultivate the vines the Gardener has placed in my life to grow and produce real fruit.
May You Be a Blessing and May You Produce Real Fruit–
Jenni
When my mom gave me a pedicure for Christmas she had no idea that her gift would give me little shimmering soft green pigs. Yesterday’s pedicure propelled me in to a wonderful mental place ready for a sweet weekend of solitude and sinking those shimmering toes in the sand.
Years ago on Young Life Staff it was strongly urged that we take a day or weekend of solitude every 6 months. It was encouraged so that we could mentally slow down, quiet ourselves, and get some quality time with God. It was a regular part of our lives and Chris and I used to count down the days until we could go away even just for a few hours. We would come back refreshed and ready for the rampant pace that we kept.
After going off staff and having children my solitude days were much more infrequent. Understandably, quiet moments were almost obsolete for the first few years with toddlers. Over the past year or two I have longed to go back and get some quiet time alone with God. With no agenda…just stillness and quiet. A listening ear, somewhere in nature, a Bible, pen and journal.
A friend offered her beach house for the weekend and I jumped at the chance to go. Another friend let me borrow her juicer and so with several gallons of green juice in my system (maybe not gallons) I am feeling quite refreshed and ready for God’s goodness.
When someone first suggested solitude to me, I thought it was an utter waste of time. First of all–what if you carved out the time and God didn’t show up? What if you tried to slow down but were completely distracted the whole time? What would I do without a phone, email, or TV for that long? What was really the purpose? Wasn’t it sorta selfish to just go be by yourself and read and pray? What about feeding the poor–wouldn’t my time better be spent in service?
There were many answers–but of course the first was that God modeled rest. Doubtful he needed rest on the 7th day of creation–but he modeled it. Jesus consistently took time to get away from the crowds and disciples to be alone and pray. But honestly for me I have found that…
I forget. I forget that God loves me. I forget that He wants to spend time with me. I forget that He wants me to daily put my trust in Him.
Listening is not my strong suit. “Be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.” (James 1:19) I am so quick to speak and become angry and listening slows me down. In solitude there is no one to talk to. The waves are crashing and I am listening. When I stop talking…eventually I am better able to listen.
Busyness is the enemy of intimacy. If I long to grow in my relationship with God I must slow down long enough in an attempt to better get to know Him.
Weekends like this remind me that I need to be way more intentional about my daily quiet times. I need to be quicker to ask forgiveness. I need to be more faithful to pray for others and specifically to surrender my entire day to Him. Sometimes my time is half hearted or not thoughtful…it is mundane. In times of solitude I am aware of my desperate daily need for Him and it awakens my soul.
May You Be a Blessing and May You Find Solitude for Your Soul.
JC
A re-post as POWER starts up another nutritional challenge…
Why is FOOD so doggone personal? Why does the hair on the back of our necks raise when we are confronted with something different than our own diets or preferences?
Peace, Love, Clean Food and Burpees,
Jenni
So You’re Mad at Me, I’m Lazy, and My Kids are Rude?
A dear friend of mine recently spent time with one of my favorite people on the planet…my therapist. Paula characterized my friend’s outlook on life by simply saying: “You are a negative framer.” Negative Framer, hmmm, the words settled deep. It seemed all too familiar. I realized in that moment, I myself was a recovering negative framer.