Presents, Parades or Prophecy?

“Do we HAVE to listen?”

“Yes…it is 7 verses.  Just listen.”  

Those were the objections from my oldest and my rebuttals as we discussed our December 1st scripture reading about the prophecy of Jesus.  I get it.   She would rather be opening presents from her Granddaddy that we are visiting for the weekend, or going to the Christmas parade where Santa throws candy from a fire engine that is scheduled for later in the afternoon.  Christmas seems to have more flare to an eight year old when it is wrapped in bows or covered in sweets.  I am glad we pushed through…

As I read Isaiah’s prophecy (9:2-7) I realized that the kids might actually be able to share helpful thoughts throughout this month on what they are learning in December.  

We read, 

“…they rejoice before you as people rejoice at the harvest…”

The object lesson was ideal this morning as just minutes before we had looked out over my dad’s farm and saw the land where the soybeans had been harvested.   Later that afternoon they took a combine ride…we literally experienced a view of “the harvest.”  

So I pushed…

“Why would someone rejoice over a harvest?”

The one who had not wanted to have this discussion piped in, “hmm…because they had been waiting for food for months to grow and they finally can eat it!”  

Okay.  Good.  

Moving on, 

“Unto us a child is born, to us a son is given.” 

Same child, “well, babies take a long to time come–so that was probably exciting too.”  

“Yes.  Now–this was not just any baby–tell me about this baby…”

The middle child, “this baby will rule over the world, He will be the prince of peace.”  

My baby pipes in, “he will be someone to praise.”   (Then he ran off after his Granddaddy and the dogs.)

“So what is this really about?”

“It is about waiting…just like we have to wait for our Christmas presents from Grandaddy and Grand Pickett–the people were waiting for this baby.  It is hard to wait…I bet it was hard for them to wait.”  

“Yep, and I bet they REALLY were ready for this baby–cause we are REALLY ready for our presents!”  

Isaiah talks about the people being in darkness.  They were longing for a Savior.   Farmers still wait for the harvest to come…and mothers anxiously await their child’s birth, children wait for Christmas presents on Christmas day…we understanding waiting.  I can only imagine the anxious anticipation from long ago as the people awaited a Wonderful Counselor, a Prince of Peace…a King that would uphold justice and righteousness from that time on and forever!  

Through this baby there would be HOPE.  I am so thankful that we are able to celebrate the birthday of One who enters in to darkness and brings peace.  

May You Be a Blessing and May You Be Blessed!

Jenni



The GIFT Doesn’t Matter…So Get Over It!

Don’t get me wrong.  

I LOVE a thoughtful gift as much as the next girl!  But as we have simplified over the past 6 months I am acutely aware that THINGS don’t matter.  

So please do not spend the next 27 days obsessing over what to buy your mother-in-law or your children for that matter!?! 

As I have purged I have asked the question:  “When is enough, enough?”  We live with so much more than the rest of the world and we rarely feel satisfied or content.  In reality, we have plenty.   Without a single present under the tree.  Plenty.  So the first thing I suggest is being creative with your gifts…

Recently I heard:  “something you want, something you need, something you wear, something you read.”  I like it.   Others give 3 gifts representing the 3 wise men who brought gifts to Baby Jesus.  They were WISE men.  And if it was enough for Him, it is probably enough for my kiddos! 

There is a sale in our ballet studio right now and I bought Kylee’s leotard and tights for next year.  The saleswoman (who might have felt sorry for my child who was getting the “needed” items for instruction next year as a Christmas present) suggested that with the leotard I make a gift card for her to go to dance camp this coming summer.  It is something she will beg to do–why not make it a special gift?!  I love it…done.   

As for the folks on your list that are hard to buy for?  We all know it really is not about “the gift” but about the thought and love behind it…

Get creative!  Consider going global…

 (Sevenly )  is one of my new favorite sites.  It is a little like TOMS where it is a “gift within a gift!”  

Give a COW for Christmas??   (World Vision Christmas Gift) allows you to give amazing gifts to families in need all over the world in the name of the person you giving to

This is an AWESOME MINIMALIST LIST  with 36 additional suggestions on keeping it simple…and not about the STUFF.    
May You Be a Blessing and May YOU BE A GIFT!

Jenni 

The Garden Massacre: 3 Down Only 2 Survive

Last spring LeAnne inspired me to consider a garden…to allow our family to be a part of the process of plants growing and recognizing that our food does not originate from the grocery store.  Both my dad and granddaddy had a garden, and so I was familiar with this custom.   But knowing that the Cockerhams have the history of KILLING plants I was a little weary of such an undertaking.   Last year our garden constituted of several potted tomato plants and herbs.   They lived…and did their best to grow despite our black thumbs.


One of the cooler things that came from our garden was our compost pile.  This makeshift pile was actually a random pile in the backyard where Chris normally placed the grass clippings.  The compost pile slowly began to cut our waste in half.  I was shocked that between recycling and composting we were down to 1 lonely bag of trash per week?!?


Amazingly, this spring a long green vine began to grow from the compost.  Then another, and another.  Intrigued and inspired by a friends’ story of the “fruit” that grew from their compost–we decided to let it grow.  
It is entitled a Halloween Miracle.
(http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/sydneygaylord/journal/2)  


Over the past month or so we have realized that we are growing what appears to be some sort of fantastic gourd or maybe even a squash or pumpkin?!  Usually plants that grow from the grocery store are “sterile” and do not produce fruit–but very clearly there are some big yellow squash-type-things doing work in our back yard.  Even more amazing, is that we had up to 5 “plants” growing at one time.  At closer inspection I realized today that only 2 actually had squash-like plants growing from them.  (And one was really struggling to survive.)   All of the vines made beautiful yellow blooming flowers–but 3 simply had no squash to show for all the fan fare.  Though I am an Indiana grown girl whose daddy had the prettiest garden in our midwest neighborhood–I really was clueless as to what to do until it hit me:  the other plants had to go!  


Could they eventually produce fruit?  Maybe.  But which ones?  And how long would I have to wait?  And how much love, water, and sunlight would they be stealing from the 2 plants that were working so hard to make it?  It became very clear that the competing plants were just that…competition.  They were sharing a small space with fabulously fertile soil (a rare commodity in NC)…and they were just sucking the very life out of the resources of the other plants.  I could pour a lot more time and energy in to trying to keep everybody comfortable–with the flowers bright and beautiful and appearing just as healthy as my squash producing plants.  But at the end of the day–3 out of my 5 plants were simply sterile.  


While attacking those beauties with my shovel–for me hacking apart a living thing is not an easy task–unless it is poison ivy.  It was especially bitter since I usually have the blackest thumb on the planet and to hack something beautiful and living knowing that it just might do something cool was simply painful for me…but I digress.   As I hacked–it became so very clear–the parallel that I live in my life.  I have SOOOOO many things competing for my attention, for my energy, time, resources.  I have so many things that I desire to pour in to…that I desire to grow and make beautiful.  On the outside it looks pretty good.  There is green, there is growth, there are even big bright beautiful yellow flowers that indicate something awesome could happen.  Yet…sadly for so many of the things that compete for my attention…like my plants…they are sterile.    Most days I live as the hopeful gardener attending to each plant and wishing and hoping for the best…only to neglect the one or two plants that are actually producing fruit…that are alive…growing and going to actually become something amazing.


But…wait for it…what if I kept all 5 plants growing?    What if I just kept feeding all 5 plants?  Sharing space…sharing soil…sharing all of the resources that I had equally?   I am almost certain that I would lose my sensational squash…or at best their growth would become stunted.  (I did not major in agriculture at NCSU–but from my backyard degree this appeared to be clear and the inevitable conclusion.)


So God got ahold of me as I shifted the compost and hacked up the other 3 plants.  He reminded me of the value of keeping life simple.  He reminded me to stop trying to keep all of my “life vines” alive only to forsake the ones that actually bear fruit.   I will wait and see what comes of this awesome biology experiment but if no edible fruit is produced I am convinced that there were awesome seeds that were planted in my heart today.   The Gardener drew my attention to the other “plants”.  He reminded me that even once I hack a few up, others will grow in my garden of life.  He showed me that they are not all “weeds” so to speak–terrible evils and obvious predators that only exist to steal my plants’ nutrients.  Sometimes they are mistaken beauties or just misdirected efforts.  These plants will take root (just the same) and I will have to ask the question of their relevance and watch closely to examine if they just look really pretty or if they are actually bearing fruit.   I will make the weighty decision of hacking or watering.   Either way–the visual is one that I am so very grateful for as I hope to not water simply to water…but nurture, attend to, and  cultivate the vines the Gardener has placed in my life to grow and produce real fruit.


May You Be a Blessing and May You Produce Real Fruit–


Jenni 





Surrendering the Starfish

Surrender.  It really has an ugly ring to it.  No one that I know enjoys “surrender.”  It conjures up images of being held at gunpoint while forcefully being told to put our hands up and surrender.
Last weekend while walking along the beach I stumbled (almost literally) on to a starfish.  A real (I was soon to find out) livestarfish.  I had never seen one on the beach like this and it didn’t look authentic.  It was bright orange and purple and incredibly beautiful.  I was awestruck.  I picked it up with my room key—not wanting to harm it—but also wanting to make sure it didn’t do anything strange to me.  Four women were sunbathing and saw me, so I went over to show them my new treasure.  They ooooed and ahhhed and then one of them said, “I think it is still alive—you should throw it back.”  I was devastated.  The starfish had shown no signs of life and I really didn’t want to throw it back.  I could only imagine the faces of my children once they saw the amazing sea creature.  I also didn’t have a camera to take a picture so at least they could see it did in fact exist, and was not just a silly fish tale!  Guilt slowly set in and I reluctantly threw the starfish back in to the ocean.  It did not move and I am still doubtful that it made it–but deep down I knew it was the right thing to do, and it was not even mine to begin with.   For the next quarter mile I combed the beach searching for a more obvious dead starfish…but none were to be found.  All of the sudden it hit me.  The starfish was a symbol of something much more meaningful in my life.  Surrender.
Earlier that morning in my quiet time I had felt God asking me to surrender something that I hold very tightly.  (He did not audibly do this by the way—it was just a nudge that I felt within my spirit.)  I had a long chat with God explaining that I really do not hold tightly to too many things and this was something that brought me great comfort and joy.  In a compassionate and loving way—I still sensed that He hoped I might not hold so tightly and actually give Him this thing that I loved dearly.
Along my walk, I had found a few sharks teeth and I would have been happy to trade all of those for one awesome starfish.  Funny how we often try to barter with God and say, “I’ll give you my_______.  Couldn’t I just keep_______?”   When it comes to surrender I am quick to give God the little things but with the bigger things, I like to have a little more control. 
Surrender according to Webster is: “the act of giving up one’s person or possessions into the authority of another…relinquishing one’s power, aims, or goals.”
Wow.  That is a lotta tough words in one sentence.  Often when someone asks me how to begin a relationship with God I say, “you surrender all that you know of yourself…to all that you know of God.”   It is loaded but true.  Along our journey with Him, we might begin to realize that we have given him our “self” in a sense…but there are still things we are holding on to for comfort, identity, stability, joy, peace, or pleasure.   Our reliance on those things, could be keeping us from having a more intimate relationship with God.   Surrender looks different for all and it is only something that the Spirit can nudge.  (Don’t get crazy and start surrendering things just to surrender them…we must be prayerful and count the cost.)   


 Our house, perfection, our family, or lack there of, our finances, popularity, our body, friendships, our sugar intake, our job, our old tapes we play (and re-play), our fears, longings, are just a few things that lobby for our time and attention that might be causing an obstacle in our relationship with God.   (I share this list because I have hung on to most all of these at some point in my life so these are just a few obvious ones for me.)   
I truly believe that surrender is one of the toughest paths to walk down in our journey with God.  It is scary—it requires relinquishing control and trusting.  God is very gracious and knows that it is a process.  He is patient, loving and a gentleman.  He never demands these things—we are given the choice.  Through the small daily surrenders, eventually the big ones go up on the alter as well.   The truth is…they are in the best of hands.  They are His anyway…right now they are just on loan. 
(This was inspired after reading and reflecting on several thoughts shared in Katie Brazelton’s book Pathway to Purpose for Women.)

 May You Be a Blessing and May you Be Blessed!
Jenni

Green Toes, Green Juice, and God’s Goodness

When my mom gave me a pedicure for Christmas she had no idea that her gift would give me little shimmering soft green pigs.  Yesterday’s pedicure propelled me in to a wonderful mental place ready for a sweet weekend of solitude and sinking those shimmering toes in the sand.

Years ago on Young Life Staff it was strongly urged that we take a day or weekend of solitude every 6 months.  It was encouraged so that we could mentally slow down, quiet ourselves, and get some quality time with God.  It was a regular part of our lives and Chris and I used to count down the days until we could go away even just for a few hours.  We would come back refreshed and ready for the rampant pace that we kept.

After going off staff and having children my solitude days were much more infrequent.  Understandably, quiet moments were almost obsolete for the first few years with toddlers.  Over the past year or two I have longed to go back and get some quiet time alone with God.  With no agenda…just stillness and quiet.  A listening ear, somewhere in nature, a Bible, pen and journal.  

A friend offered her beach house for the weekend and I jumped at the chance to go.  Another friend let me borrow her juicer and so with several gallons of green juice in my system (maybe not gallons) I am feeling quite refreshed and ready for God’s goodness.

When someone first suggested solitude to me, I thought it was an utter waste of time.  First of all–what if you carved out the time and God didn’t show up?  What if you tried to slow down but were completely distracted the whole time?  What would I do without a phone, email, or TV for that long?   What was really the purpose?  Wasn’t it sorta selfish to just go be by yourself and read and pray?  What about feeding the poor–wouldn’t my time better be spent in service?

There were many answers–but of course the first was that God modeled rest.  Doubtful he needed rest on the 7th day of creation–but he modeled it.  Jesus consistently took time to get away from the crowds and disciples to be alone and pray.  But honestly for me I have found that…

I forget.  I forget that God loves me.  I forget that He wants to spend time with me.  I forget that He wants me to daily put my trust in Him.

Listening is not my strong suit.  “Be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.” (James 1:19)  I am so quick to speak and become angry and listening slows me down.  In solitude there is no one to talk to.  The waves are crashing and I am listening.  When I stop talking…eventually I am better able to listen.

Busyness is the enemy of intimacy.   If I long to grow in my relationship with God I must slow down long enough in an attempt to better get to know Him.

Weekends like this remind me that I need to be way more intentional about my daily quiet times.  I need to be quicker to ask forgiveness.  I need to be more faithful to pray for others and specifically to surrender my entire day to Him.  Sometimes my time is half hearted or not thoughtful…it is mundane.  In times of solitude I am aware of my desperate daily need for Him and it awakens my soul.

May You Be a Blessing and May You Find Solitude for Your Soul.

JC

Hands off my HO HOs…

A re-post as POWER starts up another nutritional challenge…


Why is FOOD so doggone personal?   Why does the hair on the back of our necks raise when we are confronted with something different than our own diets or preferences?

I keep wandering down memory lane to just over 3 years ago when Janine issued a Nutritional Challenge—a “Clean Eating” Challenge for her studio.  I keep trying to remind myself why I was SO ticked at her and at the suggestion that my food might be “dirty” in some way?  I NEVER want to forget where I was…
Three years ago I worked out so that I could eat whatever I wanted.  I ate when I was hungry or when something looked or smelled good.  I ate for the joy of eating.  I ate when I was bored, lonely, angry, tired or depressed.    Food was a social common denominator:  every event whether it be a party or a play date,  food found it’s way in to the equation.  Food was comfort.  Food was a friend.  Food was entertainment.  Food was not in any way “fuel”.    That was a foreign concept.
I took the challenge because I was preparing to join P.O.W.E.R.’s staff and eventually own my own studio.  It would seem highly inappropriate for her first employee to throw a tantrum about the “RIDICULOUS” challenge she had put forth.  I spent the first week whining to the other pod girls about the fact that I could ONLY eat lettuce, and lettuce with NO dressing at that.  I complained, went to stores, read ingredients, got annoyed and went home empty handed.  I didn’t have TIME for this.  I didn’t have the stomach for it…literally.
Our family was not “so far” off the beaten path when it came to food…was it?  Sure we ate out SOME but not every night.   We ate vegetables…or at least brocolli and carrots…and I loved salads.  We didn’t deep fry everything that was placed in front of us and we didn’t eat a ton of red meat.  We drank sodas, but we were not addicted.  I loved cran-apple juice and probably drank 2 gallons a week.   We liked dessert and had sweets available but it was not an every day occasion.  Our kids didn’t eat white bread…but what was wrong with “fruit chews” that come in Disney Princess and Cars shapes?   What was high fructose corn syrup and why was it so “evil”? 
Apparently everything on our grocery list was “dirty” except for the broccoli and carrots and even our whole wheat bread had problems.  I was finding every excuse in the book to dump the challenge.  I didn’t have time to find new recipes; I was studying like crazy for my personal training license.   We didn’t have the money to buy less processed foods, never mind organic while my hubby made just over $40k a year?!?  Besides, I had three small children 3, 2, and 8 months…there was NO WAY I could get them to do this.  Did I mention my husband was a “meat-aterian” and balked at most new vegetables that I brought to the table?  This wasn’t going to work!
The first week I rolled my eyes, complained and simply refused to be apart of the madness.  The studio was buzzing though.  Women were complaining but also attempting this insane challenge.  I looked at their lives and went back to my excuses:  “yes, but she is single and doesn’t have to make 2 meals or find a ton of new recipes!”  “Yes, but her hubby brings in more cash each month!”  “She is a stay at home mom and totally has time for this!” And yet, their enthusiasm was wearing me down.  That weekend I went back to the store and started again.    I came home with a bunch of “tasteless” things and a higher grocery bill!  The 2nd week I probably ate clean 3 of the 7 days.  They were not fun and I remember feeling like I was eating like a gerbil.   I was eating more often and that was a pain because I didn’t have time to stop (yet again) to eat something!  I did not feel a difference in my energy level and was in general agitated by the process.
The 3rd week I think I added another day to a grand total of 4 out of the 7 days “clean”.  I did this partly due to peer pressure and the desire to potentially win a prize!  The conversations at the studio helped and I realized that I was going to have to resign to the process if I was going to get through the next 6 weeks.   I put together a facebook group…a “support group” of sorts, where P.O.W.E.R. girls could come together, complain, share recipes, and finish out the challenge before the holidays hit!   Somewhere between week 3 and week 9 my attitude slowly shifted. I found a few recipes that I liked and I found that I was actually not preparing as many “meals” as I was eating healthy, “substantial snacks” throughout the day.  
Somewhere between week 4 and week 9 my clothes became a little looser which was nice.  (It was jeans season and I HATED the out of the dryer, suck in and pray they button dance I used to have to do!)   Amazingly, I think I might have even dropped a jeans size by the end of the challenge.  THIS, (if I am honest) and this alone was motivation to continue considering what it would be like to shift to a “cleaner” diet.   So I began to educate myself more on WHY people should eat less preservatives and more whole foods.  I began to find out what was IN my sodas and juices.  I began to read, research and became absolutely convinced that this was a better way.  
Interestingly, and I SWEAR this is not just what healthy people who eat plants say, my food preferences CHANGED.  
I did not CRAVE sugar, sweets, salty, and fatty foods.  As a matter of fact, I distinctly remember eating a piece of processed candy and felt slightly disgusted by the “fakeness” of the flavor.  (I—gasp—spit out the Reeses cup that my child brought home for Halloween!)   This was such a shock to my system as I was sure that this was just what people “said” happened but deep down I knew it would never be true for me!   I began craving water, fruit, and vegetables,. 
My body was leaner, it moved more quickly, I had more energy and it even was more “flushed”…things moved through more naturally.  (Sorry if this is TMI!)   Over the past 3 years our family has slowly continued to change and transform our nutrition to what it is today…SUPER CLEAN!   My hubby eats and tries all vegetables that I serve.  He actually orders vegetables on his own merit—and lots of them!  It took a good amount of education to get him there, but he is there.  My kids eat lots of fruits and veggies and the processed snacks are to a minimum.   If their snacks aren’t homemade, I can pronounce and tell you what is in their food, where as before most of their snacks were chemically engineered!   This actually does help me to sleep better at night. 
The month of October is exciting in the POWER studio as women are going to be given a similar challenge to the one that was put forth 3 years ago.  I want to remember.  I never want to forgot how angry I was.  I never want to forget how HARD it was.  I never want to forget all the reasons (most valid!) for a need to keep things the way they were and avoid change.  I also never want to forget where that challenge brought me!  If I haven’t thanked her—I should—Janine, THANK YOU for making me start the journey.  I am a MUCH healthier version of myself.  My kids will hardly have memories of processed food in our home and my husband, too, is a grateful man for this lifestyle change. 
Much more to come on this subject!   But as you consider the challenge placed before you, be ENCOURAGED, take HEART it IS a journey WORTH taking! 





Peace, Love, Clean Food and Burpees,


Jenni 

A Road Trip with Hope

Yesterday morning after “Adventure Training” I had a conversation with Janine and Rachel about life and death.   (It was not because my workout was so hard they felt that they might die—but I can pretend that was the case!)  We talked about what it means to “fight” in the midst of pain and suffering.  We talked about this life being about so much more than the pain of the present moment.  We talked about the daily journey.  We talked about how on the journey–and often in the midst of pain–we find real life. 
On this Easter morning I wanted to relay an update that was sent from sweet Cabell Sweeney.  (If you do not know Cabell’s story, my entry entitled “The Climb” will give you a little history.)  Cabell is not only a “fighter” in every sense of the word…she also lives with a deep sense of God’s love for her life.  She has hope.  On this Easter morning, no matter where you are on your journey in this life, I pray that this day, you would be reminded of the hope we have because HE lives. 
Yesterday marked two years since Sweeney died. Two years. I don’t miss Mike less, so in some ways it feels like he died yesterday. But then it feels like ten years since I have heard him sing, laughed with him- touched him. I know time has brought healing and perspective for which I am grateful but it has also brought distance and that feels a little sad.
I was driving through our little town yesterday morning after working out, on the way to get coffee. It was still quiet. Windows down, sunroof open, music up. I stopped at the corner of Sixth and Broad. Elizabeth Elliot’s words met me at the stoplight. “Of one thing I am perfectly sure. God’s story never ends with ashes.”  
There is a little coffee shop on the corner of Sixth and Broad called Swift & Finch. It is the creation of Ellie Mahon and Abby Mitchell. They dreamed it, they asked God for it, they shared their vision, people came alongside them, they worked hard and now that dream has come to fruition. Swift & Finch will soon open it’s doors to the “oohs and aahs!” of this entire city. Dave Mahon, Ellie’s husband became our Young Life area director after Sweeney died. Abby moved to Rome last May following her husband Wyatt’s death in December. She and I met while our husbands battled cancer. Dave, Ellie and Abby moved to Rome because there were ashes.
Dave is the kind of man you want your son to become. He is the kind of man you want your daughter to marry. He is highly intelligent but still humble, he is tender but still strong, and he is kind but still speaks hard truths. Sitting at that stoplight, snap shots of high school guys faces flashed through my mind. Boys who haven given their lives to Christ, boys who will grow into men of God because Dave Mahon has loved them and shown them Jesus; because Dave moved to Rome and because “God’s story never ends with ashes.”
Ellie finds beauty in seemingly ordinary things. If I asked her to empty her pockets right now I imagine a small pile of “treasures” would spill out- acorns, butterfly wings, oddly shaped pebbles, 3 fern fronds and a few already wished upon dandelion stems. Sitting at that stoplight snap shots of Ellie’s friends from the newspaper and every other corner of Rome flashed through my mind. My thoughts wandered to the people she and Abby will employ and share life with at Swift & Finch. All of those people seeing a picture of how God finds beauty in each of us even when we feel very ordinary. People will know and do know God treasures them and thinks they are extraordinary because Ellie Mahon has loved them and shown them Jesus; because Ellie moved to Rome and because “God’s story never ends with ashes.”
Abby is beautiful. She sees the world through the eyes of an artist. She notices the brushstrokes of God, The Creator, The Artist in everyone and everything. She loves music and literature and art and people because she sees God in them. She loves scripture more and clings to it harder than anyone I know. Sitting at that stoplight snap shots of Abby came to me. Pictures of the two of us crying, laughing, praying, reading scripture, teaching campaigners (bible study), sharing pizza and cups of coffee flooded in. Snap shots of high school girls faces who see God’s faithfulness, who see joy personified, who see the power of healing because Abby Mitchell has loved them and shown them Jesus; because Abby moved to Rome and because “God’s story never ends with ashes.”
I love Dave, Ellie and Abby. They love me. That would not be so if my story were not what it is. Yesterday at the corner of Sixth and Broad God reminded me that He is all about Life. Because Jesus rose from the dead, He conquered death. Defeated it. Because God has victory over death, death doesn’t get the final say. Death doesn’t get to end the story. Because Jesus is alive, Sweeney is alive with Him. Because Jesus is alive, I am alive with Him.
He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!” Then he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.” Rev. 21:5
God is always making things new. God always brings forth life. I hope every bird and bud and bloom of spring is reminding you of that. Whatever is happening in your life, I pray you are encouraged to know that God is always making things new. He is always redeeming that which seems dead and hopeless. He is always restoring things that seem too broken to be fixed. “God’s story NEVER ends with ashes.”  It didn’t for Jesus, it didn’t for Sweeney, it didn’t for me, and it won’t for you.  
-Cabell Sweeney

May you be filled with a real sense of HOPE this Easter! 
JC 

So You’re Mad at Me, I’m Lazy, and My Kids are Rude?


So You’re Mad at Me, I’m Lazy, and My Kids are Rude?

A dear friend of mine recently spent time with one of my favorite people on the planet…my therapist.  Paula characterized my friend’s outlook on life by simply saying:  “You are a negative framer.”   Negative Framer, hmmm, the words settled deep.  It seemed all too familiar.  I realized in that moment,  I myself was a recovering negative framer.   

After more contemplation I realized that many people have some sort of slant this way; it takes VERY intentional effort to avoid this tendency.  Negative Framing means that no matter what is thrown at us…no matter what circumstance or conversation occurs…we assume the worst.  
I consider myself a pretty positive, warm, happy person.  So this doesn’t seem to jive with my personality.  Most people would not consider me to be “negative.”   So as not to fool anyone; I have to humbly admit, I was the most negative framer on the planet.  Deep within my core I always assumed the worst.  
To play this out, let’s see if anyone else can relate?  My boss would comment (in front of me) on another employee’s work ethic.  I would assume he was implying that I was lazy and incompetent.   A friend would mention my child’s manners had improved.  I would assume that she meant my kid previously had been disrespectful and rude.   A car cuts me off in thick 4 lane traffic and I assume he is a selfish jerk.   A parent doesn’t return an email in a timely fashion; I assume she is mad at me.  My neighbor has been driving in to her garage and closing the door immediately without saying hello.  I assume my dog has pooped one too many times in her yard.  My boyfriend shows up an hour late and I would suspect he was cheating.  WHAT?  So ridiculous when we pen it on paper and yet these scenarios and ones like them were a regular occurrence in my over active brain!
The positive framersof the world read each scenario and immediately believe the best.  The PFs assume:  your boss meant nothing of your work and was simply pleased with your co-worker at that moment.   The mom had just noticed a polite “thank you” and therefore wanted to affirm my parenting.   The person who cut me off MUST have been headed to the hospital, or maybe, simply didn’t see me!  The parent’s inbox could have been swamped or their Internet might have been down?!   PFs think the neighbor might have a sick child, or an out of town guest over and could not stop to chat.   They would believe that the boyfriend got held up at the office or had a flat tire.   Oh what we negative framers can learn from positive framers!
“Negative framing” is likely a generational (ahem) gift that is often passed along from a significant figure in our lives.  The more I reflected, the more I realized that I had learned a lot of the negative framing behaviors from my parents.  This is not a blame game and likely they learned to frame life from their parents.  But I wanted to shift my thinking…I wanted to search for the best case scenario instead of expecting the worst.  It really was very destructive in most of my relationships and was very often a waste of mental energy.  More often than not, while I wasted time assuming the worst, it turned out I was making the WRONG assumption.  
So how does one move from being a negative framer—to a “recovering” negative framer?   It was an intentional mental shift over time.   I studied positiveframers.  They look at life and relationships SO differently.  They consistently—almost annoyingly–BELIEVE the BEST.    The more I witnessed my “teachers” assuming the best, I began asking practical questions…could there be another explanation for that person’s behavior?  
I also prayerfully sought the wisdom and perspective of my Perfect Parent.  The One who created all of those folks I was negatively framing!  This helped to provide perspective.  He allowed me to see life in their shoes.   He helped me to know that life is never easy, everyone has a story, and there are often many layers that cause people to act and react the way that they do.  He also reminded me that His opinion was really the only one that truly mattered. 
I have begun to realize that the better choice (every time) is to assume the best.  This is much easier said than done, and it has taken years of practice…failing miserably…and practicing more.     A friend or relative can be a great sounding board before you assume the worst.  Ask them to help you frame your circumstances positively…or see the situation through a different lens.  It is literally like re-wiring your brain to think a different way.  It takes time and prayer…but it is worth the effort.  Relationships are blessed and your mental energy is better spent on things of more value!
Andy Stanley is one of my favorite mentors and in one of his messages he speaks DIRECTLY to assuming the worst or believing the best.  It is so clear and helpful.  If you think you might be a “negative framer” or know someone who is…this message should be enlightening.
The series is called Life Apps…it is PART 5“THE TRUST APP”
May you be a blessing—AND A POSITIVE FRAMER!
Jenni

Fresh Brewed Life

There is just something about this book…
This book came to me in the form of a photo copy.  It was when I had first started going to counseling many years ago and I was extremely angry.  I was furious but it was coming out in my dreams.  I would scream and yell and cuss out people in my life that had hurt me.  (It was bizarre, almost comical…and I was really good at it.)    My counselor recommended a chapter from Fresh Brewed Life:  “Interview Your Anger”.  I found it very helpful and saved the photo-copied chapter.  Recently, I recommended the chapter to someone else and realized I might actually benefit from reading the entire book!   Seven years later God is using the entire book to speak to my heart and life in a wonderful way.  I love to read and it seems I can lift a nugget from almost any book I pick up–but this one is special.  
The book is not earth-shaking.  It is not (necessarily) life altering. 
But there are deep, simple truths in this book that are POWERFUL.  Nicole is not the best author that I have ever read, it is not a page turner, nor does the book even flow in a completely natural way. 
But there is something about this book that I love.   The author speaks to the heart of women and addresses topics that most Christians won’t touch.  She is real, authentic and does not pretend to have it all together.  She writes what many of us thinkbut are not honest enough to say out loud. 
Each chapter could almost stand alone.  Her chapters run the gamut from longings to beauty to anger to sex to friendships and purpose…it is all there.  Feel free to skip around…it doesn’t have to fit together in a perfect package, but the chapters do seem to fit in to the make up of our lives…and what makes us uniquely female…and uniquely His. 
I shared these words with a few friends when I gave them the book…but I realized so many others with whom I grab an occasional “coffee”–might also be blessed by the truths of this book!  

FRESH BREWED LIFE    (click here to check out her site)
May you be a blessing and may you be blessed!
Jenni