A Road Trip with Hope

~ Jenni at 100 Cups of Coffee ~ Leave a comment

Yesterday morning after “Adventure Training” I had a conversation with Janine and Rachel about life and death.   (It was not because my workout was so hard they felt that they might die—but I can pretend that was the case!)  We talked about what it means to “fight” in the midst of pain and suffering.  We talked about this life being about so much more than the pain of the present moment.  We talked about the daily journey.  We talked about how on the journey–and often in the midst of pain–we find real life. 
On this Easter morning I wanted to relay an update that was sent from sweet Cabell Sweeney.  (If you do not know Cabell’s story, my entry entitled “The Climb” will give you a little history.)  Cabell is not only a “fighter” in every sense of the word…she also lives with a deep sense of God’s love for her life.  She has hope.  On this Easter morning, no matter where you are on your journey in this life, I pray that this day, you would be reminded of the hope we have because HE lives. 
Yesterday marked two years since Sweeney died. Two years. I don’t miss Mike less, so in some ways it feels like he died yesterday. But then it feels like ten years since I have heard him sing, laughed with him- touched him. I know time has brought healing and perspective for which I am grateful but it has also brought distance and that feels a little sad.
I was driving through our little town yesterday morning after working out, on the way to get coffee. It was still quiet. Windows down, sunroof open, music up. I stopped at the corner of Sixth and Broad. Elizabeth Elliot’s words met me at the stoplight. “Of one thing I am perfectly sure. God’s story never ends with ashes.”  
There is a little coffee shop on the corner of Sixth and Broad called Swift & Finch. It is the creation of Ellie Mahon and Abby Mitchell. They dreamed it, they asked God for it, they shared their vision, people came alongside them, they worked hard and now that dream has come to fruition. Swift & Finch will soon open it’s doors to the “oohs and aahs!” of this entire city. Dave Mahon, Ellie’s husband became our Young Life area director after Sweeney died. Abby moved to Rome last May following her husband Wyatt’s death in December. She and I met while our husbands battled cancer. Dave, Ellie and Abby moved to Rome because there were ashes.
Dave is the kind of man you want your son to become. He is the kind of man you want your daughter to marry. He is highly intelligent but still humble, he is tender but still strong, and he is kind but still speaks hard truths. Sitting at that stoplight, snap shots of high school guys faces flashed through my mind. Boys who haven given their lives to Christ, boys who will grow into men of God because Dave Mahon has loved them and shown them Jesus; because Dave moved to Rome and because “God’s story never ends with ashes.”
Ellie finds beauty in seemingly ordinary things. If I asked her to empty her pockets right now I imagine a small pile of “treasures” would spill out- acorns, butterfly wings, oddly shaped pebbles, 3 fern fronds and a few already wished upon dandelion stems. Sitting at that stoplight snap shots of Ellie’s friends from the newspaper and every other corner of Rome flashed through my mind. My thoughts wandered to the people she and Abby will employ and share life with at Swift & Finch. All of those people seeing a picture of how God finds beauty in each of us even when we feel very ordinary. People will know and do know God treasures them and thinks they are extraordinary because Ellie Mahon has loved them and shown them Jesus; because Ellie moved to Rome and because “God’s story never ends with ashes.”
Abby is beautiful. She sees the world through the eyes of an artist. She notices the brushstrokes of God, The Creator, The Artist in everyone and everything. She loves music and literature and art and people because she sees God in them. She loves scripture more and clings to it harder than anyone I know. Sitting at that stoplight snap shots of Abby came to me. Pictures of the two of us crying, laughing, praying, reading scripture, teaching campaigners (bible study), sharing pizza and cups of coffee flooded in. Snap shots of high school girls faces who see God’s faithfulness, who see joy personified, who see the power of healing because Abby Mitchell has loved them and shown them Jesus; because Abby moved to Rome and because “God’s story never ends with ashes.”
I love Dave, Ellie and Abby. They love me. That would not be so if my story were not what it is. Yesterday at the corner of Sixth and Broad God reminded me that He is all about Life. Because Jesus rose from the dead, He conquered death. Defeated it. Because God has victory over death, death doesn’t get the final say. Death doesn’t get to end the story. Because Jesus is alive, Sweeney is alive with Him. Because Jesus is alive, I am alive with Him.
He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!” Then he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.” Rev. 21:5
God is always making things new. God always brings forth life. I hope every bird and bud and bloom of spring is reminding you of that. Whatever is happening in your life, I pray you are encouraged to know that God is always making things new. He is always redeeming that which seems dead and hopeless. He is always restoring things that seem too broken to be fixed. “God’s story NEVER ends with ashes.”  It didn’t for Jesus, it didn’t for Sweeney, it didn’t for me, and it won’t for you.  
-Cabell Sweeney

May you be filled with a real sense of HOPE this Easter! 
JC 

So You’re Mad at Me, I’m Lazy, and My Kids are Rude?

~ Jenni at 100 Cups of Coffee ~ 3 Comments


So You’re Mad at Me, I’m Lazy, and My Kids are Rude?

A dear friend of mine recently spent time with one of my favorite people on the planet…my therapist.  Paula characterized my friend’s outlook on life by simply saying:  “You are a negative framer.”   Negative Framer, hmmm, the words settled deep.  It seemed all too familiar.  I realized in that moment,  I myself was a recovering negative framer.   

After more contemplation I realized that many people have some sort of slant this way; it takes VERY intentional effort to avoid this tendency.  Negative Framing means that no matter what is thrown at us…no matter what circumstance or conversation occurs…we assume the worst.  
I consider myself a pretty positive, warm, happy person.  So this doesn’t seem to jive with my personality.  Most people would not consider me to be “negative.”   So as not to fool anyone; I have to humbly admit, I was the most negative framer on the planet.  Deep within my core I always assumed the worst.  
To play this out, let’s see if anyone else can relate?  My boss would comment (in front of me) on another employee’s work ethic.  I would assume he was implying that I was lazy and incompetent.   A friend would mention my child’s manners had improved.  I would assume that she meant my kid previously had been disrespectful and rude.   A car cuts me off in thick 4 lane traffic and I assume he is a selfish jerk.   A parent doesn’t return an email in a timely fashion; I assume she is mad at me.  My neighbor has been driving in to her garage and closing the door immediately without saying hello.  I assume my dog has pooped one too many times in her yard.  My boyfriend shows up an hour late and I would suspect he was cheating.  WHAT?  So ridiculous when we pen it on paper and yet these scenarios and ones like them were a regular occurrence in my over active brain!
The positive framersof the world read each scenario and immediately believe the best.  The PFs assume:  your boss meant nothing of your work and was simply pleased with your co-worker at that moment.   The mom had just noticed a polite “thank you” and therefore wanted to affirm my parenting.   The person who cut me off MUST have been headed to the hospital, or maybe, simply didn’t see me!  The parent’s inbox could have been swamped or their Internet might have been down?!   PFs think the neighbor might have a sick child, or an out of town guest over and could not stop to chat.   They would believe that the boyfriend got held up at the office or had a flat tire.   Oh what we negative framers can learn from positive framers!
“Negative framing” is likely a generational (ahem) gift that is often passed along from a significant figure in our lives.  The more I reflected, the more I realized that I had learned a lot of the negative framing behaviors from my parents.  This is not a blame game and likely they learned to frame life from their parents.  But I wanted to shift my thinking…I wanted to search for the best case scenario instead of expecting the worst.  It really was very destructive in most of my relationships and was very often a waste of mental energy.  More often than not, while I wasted time assuming the worst, it turned out I was making the WRONG assumption.  
So how does one move from being a negative framer—to a “recovering” negative framer?   It was an intentional mental shift over time.   I studied positiveframers.  They look at life and relationships SO differently.  They consistently—almost annoyingly–BELIEVE the BEST.    The more I witnessed my “teachers” assuming the best, I began asking practical questions…could there be another explanation for that person’s behavior?  
I also prayerfully sought the wisdom and perspective of my Perfect Parent.  The One who created all of those folks I was negatively framing!  This helped to provide perspective.  He allowed me to see life in their shoes.   He helped me to know that life is never easy, everyone has a story, and there are often many layers that cause people to act and react the way that they do.  He also reminded me that His opinion was really the only one that truly mattered. 
I have begun to realize that the better choice (every time) is to assume the best.  This is much easier said than done, and it has taken years of practice…failing miserably…and practicing more.     A friend or relative can be a great sounding board before you assume the worst.  Ask them to help you frame your circumstances positively…or see the situation through a different lens.  It is literally like re-wiring your brain to think a different way.  It takes time and prayer…but it is worth the effort.  Relationships are blessed and your mental energy is better spent on things of more value!
Andy Stanley is one of my favorite mentors and in one of his messages he speaks DIRECTLY to assuming the worst or believing the best.  It is so clear and helpful.  If you think you might be a “negative framer” or know someone who is…this message should be enlightening.
http://www.northpoint.org/messages/life_apps
The series is called Life Apps…it is PART 5… “THE TRUST APP”
May you be a blessing—AND A POSITIVE FRAMER!
Jenni

Better Than The Bachelorette?

~ Jenni at 100 Cups of Coffee ~ Leave a comment

This dork loves a good documentary.  I will happily exchange prime-time for an educational video any day.  I understand that some are not as “dork-minded” as me.   I am way behind on my reality tv.   As deprived as I am on pop culture conversation these days, I do believe there is much to be gleaned from the research of others.  In the spirit of Wellness Wednesday I thought I would share my top 5 documentaries on the subject of food, exercise, and body image.  I also wanted to share information about a free flick that is available for the next 3 days…it is a worthy watch.


Food Inc.     http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QqQVll-MP3I
Opened my eyes to exactly where my food came from…you mean it is not from a cute farm in the mid-west with a big red barn in the middle of it?    (You can watch it free in segments on youtube.)


America the Beautiful    http://americathebeautifuldoc.com/original/
Looks at society, the media, and how distorted we have become with our understanding of beauty.


Bigger, Faster, Stronger    http://topdocumentaryfilms.com/bigger-stronger-faster/
Body image issues do not just effect women…this was an interesting documentary on the lengths that men will go to become bigger, faster, and stronger.  


Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead     http://www.fatsickandnearlydead.com/
A journey of one man moving from near death to vibrant life.

Forks Over Knives    http://www.forksoverknives.com/
If the China Study is too thick…this is a great summary of the research.



For the next 3 days there is great documentary that is being offered online for FREE.   Hungry for Change highlights and interviews many medical doctors on the subject of nutrition in America.  It interviews specialists, authors, and many people whose lives have been changed by changing their nutrition.  This includes two 30-something cancer survivors,  Joe Cross (from Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead), and even Jamie Oliver makes an appearance! 


Hungry For Change         
http://www.hungryforchange.tv/free-worldwide-online-premiere


The information is scientifically based and the information on sugar in our diets is disturbing.  I hope you will take advantage of this free flick!  I promise even if you just receive ONE golden nugget from the movie, it will be good for your life long health…better than The Bachelorette! 


May You Be a Blessing and May you Be Blessed!


Jenni 

Fresh Brewed Life

~ Jenni at 100 Cups of Coffee ~ Leave a comment

There is just something about this book…
This book came to me in the form of a photo copy.  It was when I had first started going to counseling many years ago and I was extremely angry.  I was furious but it was coming out in my dreams.  I would scream and yell and cuss out people in my life that had hurt me.  (It was bizarre, almost comical…and I was really good at it.)    My counselor recommended a chapter from Fresh Brewed Life:  “Interview Your Anger”.  I found it very helpful and saved the photo-copied chapter.  Recently, I recommended the chapter to someone else and realized I might actually benefit from reading the entire book!   Seven years later God is using the entire book to speak to my heart and life in a wonderful way.  I love to read and it seems I can lift a nugget from almost any book I pick up–but this one is special.  
The book is not earth-shaking.  It is not (necessarily) life altering. 
But there are deep, simple truths in this book that are POWERFUL.  Nicole is not the best author that I have ever read, it is not a page turner, nor does the book even flow in a completely natural way. 
But there is something about this book that I love.   The author speaks to the heart of women and addresses topics that most Christians won’t touch.  She is real, authentic and does not pretend to have it all together.  She writes what many of us thinkbut are not honest enough to say out loud. 
Each chapter could almost stand alone.  Her chapters run the gamut from longings to beauty to anger to sex to friendships and purpose…it is all there.  Feel free to skip around…it doesn’t have to fit together in a perfect package, but the chapters do seem to fit in to the make up of our lives…and what makes us uniquely female…and uniquely His. 
I shared these words with a few friends when I gave them the book…but I realized so many others with whom I grab an occasional “coffee”–might also be blessed by the truths of this book!  

FRESH BREWED LIFE    (click here to check out her site)
May you be a blessing and may you be blessed!
Jenni

Chocolate Lava Cake…

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Chocolate Lava Cake was the Cockerham family “dessert of choice” last spring on our cruise.  The kids could choose a brownie, cookies, or banana split off the kids’ menu, but all three would order off the adult menu each night to secure their lava cake was delivered just like mom and dad.  My father in law thoughtfully found the recipe and for Chris’ birthday and I went out and bought ramekins to re-create the incredible family memory.   I almost wished I didn’t know what was inside those delicious little ramekins on the boat–with a stick of butter and 7 eggs–just to name a few of the ingredients!  On Chris’ birthday I faithfully re-created our families’ “dessert of choice”.  I had decided it was to only be a once a year thing until my friend Emily shared this recipe!    Thanks to “Mama Pea” there is a butter and egg free version of Lava Cake!   (Peas and Thank You Lava Cake)    This has now become our new family favorite and we don’t have to wait until July 16th to make them!    (It could just be a random Sunday night when NC State and UNC both pull out a victory!)   Tonight we tried these delectable cakes and I HAD to share them my friends.  


I am still sorting through my blog thoughts internal and external so my entries will not be as frequent until I figure out my direction.  From now on I am pretty sure I am going to leave the recipe sharing up to my girls at Grab Your Greens (http://grabyourgreens.blogspot.com/)  their site is awesome.  But this one was TOO good to pass up.  Had we been sitting across the table at coffee this week, I can assure you that the Cockerham family dessert from Sunday night would have come up!


May You Be a Blessing and May You Be Blessed!


Jenni

Pulling Inward…

~ Jenni at 100 Cups of Coffee ~ Leave a comment

Writing and words come only when they come.  


I am passionate about so very much whether it be sharing my mommy blunders, fitness and food thoughts, or encouragement in the area of faith.   All come packaged via this blog–but just humbly after a gentle nudge. 

I truly only write when I feel a nudge, a tug, some sort of inspiration.  

Lately I have been nudged and tugged to pull inward.  I am hungry to read, to journal, to read more and journal more.  Slowness and simplicity are the words that are consistently the message of my reading and writing.  

When I designed my blog I hoped it would serve as a way to connect with people that I love.  I hoped it would be an “invitation” to a slow, sweet moment together.  That is still my hope for this blog.  I am waiting and listening for my next entry but realized that until we sit down again “to coffee”…I will need to have a more clear direction and be nudged, tugged, and inspired. 

In the meantime, I would encourage you to take this lenten month to slow down.  To reflect–draw inward.  

I sense there will be much more that I have to say about slowness and simplicity in the future, but in the meantime I will leave you with a few profound words from Lily Tomlin…

“For fast-acting relief from stress, try slowing down.”  

Strong is the new beautiful…and I am finding that SLOW is also quite beautiful!

May our next cup together be sweet, inspired, and sipped slowly.

Jenni

Shedding Our Masks Promotes True Sisterhood

~ Jenni at 100 Cups of Coffee ~ Leave a comment

Insecurity masks herself in such ugly ways.  She comes across as aloof, abrasive, angry, or rude.  More pleasantly, insecurity masks herself as overly apologetic, the eternal martyr, or “super woman” who in one single leap conquers her entire universe.
While donning this mask of insecurity women send other women a message.  Sometimes it is, “don’t mess with me, my job, my husband, or my network of friends”.   Her actions say, “keep your distance, don’t look at me or talk to me”.   Other messages say, “I am weak and any feedback from you might send my fragile soul over the edge”.  Still another message might be… “you could never keep up with my schedule or my good deeds.” 
All of these messages are in some way or another toxic.  They are relationship killers and they are what keep women at odds with one another.   Whether she wears the mask of insecurity and is frightened of the external arrows that might come her way, or whether she does not believe that she is worthy of the affection of another…no matter the reason…masks destroy sisterhood.
Healthy female relationships are hard to come by.  Rarely do you see great mother/daughter models.  Sisters who invest and care for one another the way that we think they “ought”.   Our masks are rarely lifted over an occasional chat on the way to the mailbox, a trip to the movies, or at a random bunko night.    I do not pretend to grasp the full female relational breakdown but I believe that the masks we wear inhibits us from full being “seen” and from fully being “known”.  To take off that mask would force vulnerability.  A vulnerability that we are hesitant to expose. 
For the past few weeks in POWER we have removed the mask.  We have personally examined our preconceived notions and core beliefs on the subjects of beauty and health.  We have uncovered our faces, exposed our bodies, and taken our thoughts captive.  Hopefully throughout this time of self-exploration we have grown more honest, more confident, and more comfortable in our own skin.  The more we take off the mask, the more okay we are with leaving it off.  Then…and only then, can we see women and be seen by women in a way that promotes sisterhood.  

In true sisterhood, other females are not competition, and what they have is not to be coveted or resented.  In true sisterhood, other women are not seen as the enemy but yet another amazing being that is almost assuredly full of flaws as well as absolute beauty.  When we look without the mask we see with different eyes.  These eyes are filled with love.  Love for self and love for others. 
Women then become partners in this life.  Women become sojourners on this adventure toward health and wellness.  Women are considered friend and not foe. 
This week we challenge you to leave the mask off.  We challenge you to look to other women with a new fresh set of eyes.  Eyes of love.  May each note you write this week be sincere and heartfelt.  May the women who receive them be blessed.  May this refreshingly new sisterhood make deep impact daily in the lives of all of the women you encounter! 
May you be a blessing and may you be blessed. 
Jenni

Fierce Reflections Cause Us to Fly…

~ Jenni at 100 Cups of Coffee ~ Leave a comment

It hit me this week when walking through my studio watching the layers come off (literally and figuratively); that this month in our studios is all about COURAGE.  It is about courageously taking a look at our bodies, our thought life, our reasons for why we do things and the reasons why we don’t.  It is about looking at our inner thought life and our bodies in a different way.  It is about embracing the good for how great it is; and positively viewing areas in which we are typically negative.  Even more importantly it is about getting unstuck.  It is about moving past “ourselves” so to speak.   

The kind of introspection we have done this month takes GREAT courage.  It takes a fierce woman who knows there is more to this life than striving for media induced ideals of beauty.  She also knows that there is more to this life than keeping up with Mrs. Jones’ body.   She recognizes that in this life we will stay stuck if we can truly only see skin deep.  This fierce woman believes that her life is a culmination of experiences and relationships.  So while reflecting in the mirror she does not stop with the epidermal layer…she actually is beginning to see what others’ see.  Daughter, sister, mother, wife, neighbor, friend, and confidante.  She sees beauty that runs deep, high, long and wide.  In her reflection this fierce woman sees life experiences that have shaped, formed, and carved her in to who she is becoming.  This fierce woman is able to find joy in her “now” and hope for her  “soon to come”. 
I commend each of you for the brave steps that you have taken thus far.   There are two weeks left in our challenge.  The first two weeks of this month were about getting comfortable in our discomfort and taking an inner look.   This coming week we will shift and look outward to our sisters around us.   We believe that next week other women who have watched your courage might decide they themselves want some of the inner strength that you possess. 
“Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly.”   Anonymous
It is time to stop looking in the mirror and seeing the caterpillar that “was” and recognize we have beautiful wings.   Simply spread your wings.  It is time to fly.  Inspire others.  Fly.  


May You Be a Blessing and May You Be Blessed,
Jenni 

Robin Rice’s "The Problem With Beauty"

~ Jenni at 100 Cups of Coffee ~ Leave a comment

Sometimes there is no need to re-create the wheel.  In this circumstance Robin completely got it RIGHT!   As we ask you to take this week to “look in the mirror”…we are given an opportunity to hear from Robin Rice and the lessons she learned while looking in the mirror…

The Problem With Beauty
Houston, we have a problem.  Miami, you too. Hollywood, it’s big. London, Paris, Dublin, you’re included. Podunk, Littletown, and No place Special—don’t think you’re exempt. It’s everywhere. Invasive and pervasive. Beauty has gotten out of hand.  Not real beauty, of course. Not the kind of beauty that emerges, even erupts, like a wildflower in the wilderness, in response to what we love. No, I mean the kind that we are trying to buy, wear, and posses in order to get love. Or prestige. Or even a better “in” with the hottest new spiritual guru. The kind we are sold a long side everything from diamonds to dog food. The version we are told via every magazine ad and television commercial that we will absolutely need if we are to have any hope of being happy in this life.  It’s not pretty. And it’s not new. In fact, it’s so old-news, so accepted, so normal, most of us no longer really notice the tactics that steal the soul of beauty. It’s just how things are these days. Even the costs, so obvious in the modern life, are chalked up to “the way of the world.”  So while we might say it’s a shame that there is an outrageous number of young women (and men) are starving themselves to death because they think they are “fat”, it’s not really news. And though it might make us gasp to hear of a 5’6”woman checking into a hospital at 94 pounds and feeling terrified to eat, unless it is our own daughter, or sister, or best friend, the conversation quickly sails on.  Likewise, we might groan at the truth that women spend billions of dollars every year on beauty products, not to mention diet foods, pills and programs. But we’ve seen enough infomercials and strip mall diet club storefronts, and we have spent enough of our own money at the cosmetics counter, that no real alarm sounds.  In fact, while we might all agree that the way food is grown, processed, modified and marketed is actually creating less beauty, not more, given the growing obesity epidemic that kills millions in one way or another every year, most of us don’t feel that’s really any of our business. It’s a matter of personal choice, isn’t it? People do what they want to do, right?  Even our very own insecurities, the ones that show up as criticism in the mirror every day—often many times a day—seem normal. The negative self-talk (“Look at those thunder thighs…those puny, sagging breasts…the wrinkles…and that gray!”) is so accepted, so expected, it’s viewed as nothing more than the annoying drone of a radio, the standard-issue background noise of a woman’s mind. The idea that there is something wrong with the message, not the woman, seems almost radical. Maybe even unpatriotic.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not against physical beauty. Even the striking, wow-ser kind. I don’t think unattractive is better than attractive, or that we all ought to ugly ourselves up to make a point. I love to see the standardized beauty out there. There is a reason we all respond to a form that is easily recognized as lovely, and it is not only conditioning. Yet I also happen to get a rush from non-standardized beauty—the cracked and edgy, the burnt shadows, the otherwise overlooked. No, it is the idea of selling my soul for society’s current version of beauty, and only that version, at the same time as watching our young daughters sell their souls at younger and younger ages, that gets to me.  It’s Global, But It’s Also Personal.  I remember the exact day I sold my soul for beauty. I was just home from high school, all of fifteen years old. I don’t recall what happened to bring me to the bathroom mirror. But there I was, sitting on the vanity, my feet in the sink, crying. What do they see that I don’t see? I kept asking the young woman staring back at me. I’m ugly, unacceptable, substandard. Or so they say.  I, myself, didn’t feel that way. Sure, I knew I wasn’t going to win any beauty contests. But ugly? Unacceptable? Substandard? Bad enough to be rejected and ridiculed, day after day, like a game with a pre-designated looser? I might have been able to argue the validity of my own opinion to myself, if it weren’t for the fact that there were so many of them. So many standing against me, and only little old me standing for me. It was beyond what I, at that terribly vulnerable age, could pull off. I recall nodding to my image, eye to eye, tear to tear. It was a matter of majority rule, I told myself. They must be right. Not only must I be unattractive and unlovable, I decided, I must not be able to see any kind of beauty clearly. My judgment was obviously as distorted as my body. “Don’t trust your own opinion from here on out,” I said aloud, already becoming angry at myself for not seeing flaws that were so obvious to everyone else.  Yes, I would listen to them. I would side with society. I would ignore my own opinions, and I would learn the ways of the world. I would become beautiful, by the world’s standards, whatever it took. I walked away from that mirror a different young woman, and it would be twenty years before I went back to reconsider my true opinion of myself.  Twenty years, two children, two plastic surgeries, a wide array of diets, a divorce, and a spiritual awakening had to occur before I would tell myself I had been wrong that day. Twenty years before I realized that they—no matter how great their numbers—had no more right to decide what was beautiful than I did. Twenty years before I realized that virtually every woman I knew had sold out to play the game right along with me.  Twenty years, but I did go back. I sat on the vanity, put my feet back in the sink, and stared at the older, wiser woman in the mirror. I asked her, and my younger self, to forgive me. I told them both that I had made a mistake. I really was beautiful, not only before that day at age fifteen, but in all the twenty years between. I also told my younger self I’d make it up to her. I’m doing that here, now, with my reader as witness.

Robin Rice is a personal mentor to women leaders. Her award-winning, internationally published novels offer personal growth and healing atwww.BeWhoYouAre.com. These books offer genuine entertainment through well-woven tales of personal growth in a real world setting. They engage the harsh realities of being human while pointing us all toward a more rewarding and soulful existence.


Taking Thoughts Captive…

~ Jenni at 100 Cups of Coffee ~ 2 Comments
We tweet and twitter our thoughts.  We blog them and log them and even run and jog with them.   They are everywhere and in everything…they are constant and for many of us they dominate our mood and even our very lives.   

There are some thoughts that never make it on our facebook wall…they are not “pinned” as interests.   Those thoughts, they plague us.

Our thought life can set us free or shackle us. 

Janine and I feel that it is crucial to develop a practice of “taking our thoughts captive”.  Holding them in time and space and then if proven toxic…releasing them to the garbage where they belong.  The exercise that we have developed for this week of the challenge is one that acknowledges we all have thoughts that are not always building or encouraging.  They are a force to be reckoned with.   While standing in front of our mirrors “exposed” we certainly may be filled with words or phrases that are not constructive.  They also might follow us through carpool, to a business luncheon, or even creep in while having a peaceful quiet time alone.   No matter what moment of the day a thought floats in; if it is an unwelcomed ‘intruder”, recognize it as such.  Take the thought captive.  Don’t soul search and wonder where it came from or why it is there…and certainly don’t entertain it…simply ask it to be gone.  Ask it to leave you alone.  It was uninvited and must be properly escorted out of your beautiful psyche once and for all. 

I make this sound simple and for some it will be.  For others we have had tapes playing over and over for years or even decades.  This practice will take work.  We might take a thought captive and within minutes we must do it again.   It might take weeks or months to master.  It might even take therapy.  This week is a wonderful starting point to acknowledge that we have thoughts that don’t deserve the time that we give them.  The sooner we recognize them for what they are:  toxic and destructive, the sooner we can request their departure. 

Symbolically you might want to write down your negative thoughts…you might want to place them on scraps of paper and trash them…or toss them in to the fire.   If you have faith in God, then release them through prayer.    Be intentional with your thought life.  Find positive words to fill their place.   If you don’t have words, borrow a few mine.  (Even if you only partially believe them…try mine on for size and see where they take you.)
You are beautiful.   A jewel, a rose, a rock, a pearl, a peach, a diamond, a cool breeze, a lily, a shooting star, a sunset, a warm wind,  a soft whisper, a strong rhythm, a sparkling waterfall, a moon beam, a princess, a warrior, a mountain, a raging ocean.

You are a play maker, a trend-setter, a peace-provider, a giver, a dreamer, a healer.  

You are intelligent, witty, strong, whimsical, unique, passionate, creative, humble, powerful, kind, helpful, honest, and wise. 

You were not meant to be shackled…you were made for much more than this. 

You are loved, and lovely. 


May You Be a Blessing and May you Be Blessed,

Jenni